‘Merica the Bootyfull

usa bikini.jpgGoddamn it, I love me some ‘Merica.

You know this, dear readers. Heck, you probably love you some too.

And yesterday, on our hallowed Fourth of July holiday, I had a grandtastical time with friends, family, and beer.  I BBQ-hopped all over the Chi; kissed babies’ sunburnt foreheads; ate me some apple pie.  At the end of the day I was so drunk with red, white and blue cheer that I couldn’t help but point my finger at strangers and say “I want YOU!”

And along the way, I learned what ‘Merica really is.


Duh.  We all know this.  I attended BBQs in costume, as a walking representation of our nation’s capital. I wore this red novelty tee (the sleeves I ripped off, ‘cuz ‘Merica don’t need no dang sleeves) with the Washington Nationals cap I picked up during Strasmas a couple of weeks ago.
im big in europe.jpgThis outwardly provocative get-up netted me lots of friends.  Strangers approached me with “Hey, Strasburg, man!” and “Gotta love Strasburg, dude.”  The ladies were impressed with me being big in Europe and one of them even made a joke about the possibility of Stephen Strasburg being big in Europe, to which I replied, “Strasburg… he’s good and all, but, y’know he ain’t no Jeff Lung.”

‘Merica… it’s…

Being Anything You Wanna Be… For Five Hours

5 hour energy bowl.jpgAnd of course… ‘Merica… it’s…

Having a Dream, Living that Dream, Then Saying F the World

merica.jpgHate me ‘cuz it’s trendy, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.



(pics by moi)



  1. Amy

    That guy looks like he could be from my hometown in Ohio. Why didn’t you say you were going to a BBQ there? I could’ve got you hooked up at the Arrow Queen with some cheap ice cream! (I once played kissy face with the owner in high school).


  2. redstatebluestate

    AG23 — Amen for that!
    Amy — Next time I’m totally gettin the scoop from you first. PS, that guy can dance too.

  3. Fenway Bleacher Creature

    Love the Strasburg outfit!

    “Strasburg… he’s good and all, but, y’know he ain’t no Jeff Lung.”- I’ve gotta add this to my 2010 baseball quotes, this made me crack up.

    Thanks for the laughs as usual,
    -Fenway Bleacher Creature

  4. redstatebluestate

    FBC — Hehehe. Glad you liked it. I try 🙂
    Jane — I think his name is Mike, but I can’t be sure. It was well past beer thirty when I was introduced to him… cool dude though!

  5. redstatebluestate

    Peter — Now THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about!
    Randy — Done, brother! Done!

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