Joe Blanton: Your Soon-to-Be Pub Trivia Quiz Answer

joe blanton.jpgQuick! Name the 1993 Atlanta Braves fifth starter!

*tick tock tick tock tick tock*

Give up yet?

Let’s see, there’s Maddux, Smoltz, Glavine, Avery and…

Pete Smith?

You betchya!  Move over, Petey, ‘cuz Joe Blanton is about to take his seat on the ultimate bench of irrelevancy!!!

Indeed, as the shock from Ruben Amaro’s impressively aggressive move to recapture the services of Cliff Lee finally wears off, we are all bound to feel the wrath of that stellar Phillies rotation — a rotation that will make National League stomachs churn as violently as a half digested Taco Bell 7-layer burrito after an all-night college kegger where you went home with a chick named Mo.

And then there’s Joe Blanton.

Meh.

After getting a solid dose of Halladay, Lee, Oswalt and Hamels… facing Joe Blanton is sorta like having to make out with Khloe Kardashian, just ‘cuz all the hot ones are already taken.

Of course, this is assuming Blanton will even be a Philly once the 2011 season starts.  If I were Ruben, I would do everything in my power to unload that salary, then it’d just be a matter of putting a body out on the mound every five days.  If said body is able to pitch, that’s a plus.  But really, four days out of five, the Phils are gonna be the hardest friggin’ team ON THE PLANET to beat.

Are you paying attention to all this Mr. Mozeliak? 

Hate me.  I don’t care.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

13 comments

  1. devilabrit

    LMAO…. okay that was funny…

    Amaro has been trying to deal Blanton for almost a month now, so I’m told so the chances are he wont be there come March, and if they unload Kendrick too and Vance Worley turns into some kinds superstar rookie then it would be 5 days to be affraid…

    although in reality the Cards starting rotation isn’t much different, just less publicized..

    -peter
    http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

  2. raysrenegade

    Jeff.
    I get people with Rays trivia all the time.
    Especially with this one…
    Question: Who was the first Rays pitcher to give up a cycle to an opponent?
    I always give them a double of nothing question in the same vane to let them think they can get their bet back.
    Bonus Question: Who was the player who got the first cycle against the Rays?
    Not going to give you the bonus question,but the answer is someone who played for Allen’s favorite team, and the pitcxher is the subject of today’s (Dec 15,2010) blog post.

    Rays Renegade

    http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

  3. redstatebluestate

    Peter — Getting rid of him would make your team better. I hope he stays 😉
    RR — Howell gave it up to… Tony Clark? I dunno. TELL ME. I don’t like having to work to find these things out…
    Shaun — Agreed on Zito… I’d also add to that he’s the most EXPENSIVE fifth starter. EVER.
    Prince — Uh…. no? No.
    –Jeff

  4. phillingintheblanks

    I agree, unload Blanton and even eat some of his salary. He’s got $17 million left to be paid for 2011-2012…offer a chunk of it then keep the rest and make some smart moves with it. I don’t think it’s so outlandish that Vance Worley could be a fine guy in the fifth slot. That’s pretty much his ceiling. And if he’s going to end up there some day, why not now, when his impact will be least destructive if he’s terrible but could also contribute some wins to bridge the small gap that will inevitably occur when the first four lose games here and there?

    –Christine
    http://phillingintheblanks.mlblogs.com/

  5. redstatebluestate

    Jane — I’m sure it’s a similar reason… and sorry about Khloe. More reason NOT to make out with her 😉
    Christine — Welcome to the RSBS crib! You could put anyone in the number 5 spot… it won’t matter. As long as the front four are healthy, it’s domination time.
    RR — Thanks! Whodathunkit?
    –Jeff

  6. blithescribe

    Yeah, Joe Blanton is kind of the Aquaman in the Phillies Justice League of a starting rotation. We have superhuman strength, amazing speed, more gadgets of villain destruction than any ten superheroes could possibly have a use for and…oh…you summon fish? Well, I guess that will be useful too…maybe.
    -Kristen
    http://blithescribe.mlblogs.com/

  7. redstatebluestate

    Kristen — Good analogies. Though I hate showering Cole Hamels and his whiny voice with masculine praise.
    –Jeff

  8. greg1969

    Well, Jeff, at least you’d have the first two guys covered in your own rotation, in Carpenter and Wainwright. They at least can give the Phillies a ballgame. Then you have… uh, then you have… (is Lohse still kicking around?)… hmmm… Well, you could trade for Blanton yourselves, right? 😉 Whaddayathink? Or does Kardashian pitch?

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