Every time I turn on the TV or check the news, all I hear is budget this
and spending that. And it seems like there’s a race to see who can
slash the most and do it quickly. If MLB took the same approach, what
could be cut and what should be cut?
Oh, dude… Ramon… spending cuts in baseball?!? Well, it’s your lucky friggin’ day, my friend, ‘cuz I’ve just been waiting — WANTING — to slash the baseball budget for eons — to shred it back to its more recognizable roots.
Here’s but a shortlist of what could and SHOULD be cut from baseball, all together:Uniform Spending
You get one home uni and one road uni. One. Each. You rip it or get it dirty or stained, you deal with it, just like in little league. I don’t care if ya gotta run a shoestring through your pants to keep ’em up, you do it. And none of this alternate jersey crap. White. Gray. That’s it. Also, we’re making them out of wool.
It’s bad enough I gotta pay $44 friggin’ bucks to be assualted by the plebeian tongues of Chicago sCrUBS fan bleacher bums at Wrigley, but to pay $7.25 for a 16 oz can-o-crap (Bud Light)… someone oughta be caned for that sort of crime.
“God Bless America”
Um… if we HAVE to sing this during the seventh inning, then we HAVE to sing “Here Comes Santa Claus” too, ‘cuz Santa Claus is MY favorite mythical creature, m’kay? Whether you believe in god or not, this song has no place in our grand game. To make me stand up to prove I’m a patriot is even more asinine. I love my country because my country says I don’t have to conform to some crazy ideas thought up by a crackpot who has his own best interests in mind. Also, by mandating this song be sung, we are excluding our friendly neighbors to the north, who’ve never been the same since losing the Expos. Frankly, I’ve never been the same since losing the Expos… so let’s find a non-religious song that exemplifies NORTH America’s awesomeness… like, how about something by Rush?
Get that done, Ramon, and we get our game back.
I mean, seriously… have you seen Rush play live?
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
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