Some Flagrancy for Your Friday

Since I enjoy the weekends almost as much as I enjoy watching the sCrUBBIES plummet to 21 games under .500, I better get rid of all this heat-induced angst now, so I can enjoy the next two days in peace.  That means y’all better get ready for some STOP ITs!

Aramis Ramirez
In the old days, being a Big Leaguer meant being the best you could be.  It meant putting forth maximum effort, doing things the right way and positioning one’s self to win.  After all, that’s the goal in baseball.  To win.  Of course, you could also be lame, like a very comfortable Aramis Ramirez, who is more inclined to settle for being a creaky cog in a wheel of crap at Wrigley Field than go somewhere his talents could actually be of some use.  He cites his “family” as the reason, but that’s stupid.  It’s two months.  And you’re a friggin’ millionaire, dude.  So STOP IT!  Just STOP IT!  Go win something.  Nothing infuriates me more than talented people wasting their talents.

The White Sox
Speaking of stupid, how long will Kenny Williams & Co. allow the $14 million strikeout machine to clog up any and all paths to winning?!?  Letting a marquis player work through a slump makes sense when the slump is… y’know, a slump.  But when it’s AN ENTIRE SEASON it’s time to make a change.  STOP IT, White Sox!  You bombard me with your 2011 slogan of “All In” and the only thing you’re “all in” to is a giant, heaping pile of suck.

The Heat
I love how we Chicagoans complain all winter long about how cold it is, then when summer comes along people are suddenly surprised they’re frying eggs on the sidewalk.  Chicago in the summer is HOT.  It has always been hot.  So stop acting like you didn’t know this.  Same thing goes for baseball players.  It’s been hot during the summer for the entirety of baseball history.  In fact, the old timers (REAL baseball men) used to wear WOOL UNIFORMS so STOP CRYING ABOUT IT, baseball players.  You make millions of dollars playing a game I’d do Precious for to play, so quit bitching about the heat and just concentrate on doing your job.

And, as if all of the above isn’t enough, apparently we here in US America can’t even get our own pastimes right.  No, I’m not talking about baseball.  I’m talking about pizza.

Yeah, our pizza experience has been outsourced to India too.  And, surprise, surprise… they do it better:

Happy Friday!



  1. Emma

    I don’t know how they could wear those wool uniforms. During a past winter Dodgers event for season ticket holders, I bid on a Wes Parker uniform. I like Wes and he wore #28 (I was born 6/28) Anyway, it is wool. I don’t know what I was thinking ’cause I did not even take a good look at the uniform. It is too big for me and I itch if I wear wool. I put it away and every once in a while I look at it, try it on and take it off right away. Is too hot to wear! :-). I don’t know how players wore wool in the summer. But yeah, those were real men.

  2. macbeth11

    I knew there was a reason I love Chicago! Coming from Ottawa(the second coldest capital in the world) it’s scorching in the summer and sub zero in the winter. people still complain about the weather. Maybe Aramis might wave a no trade, but it’s still admirable that he wants to play there. I like that.
    —Mark Gauthier

  3. Keleigh

    I’ve somewhat given up on Adam Dunn and now direct most of my rage towards Alex Rios. I wish they could dump his salary onto SOMEONE, because Brent Lillibridge could be equally as productive (and, probably someone from Charlotte could be equally or more productive) for less than 1/10th the price.

    But, I totally agree. Adam’s Dunn season is not a slump. It’s a failure of a season. Giant pile of suck.

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