Gut Punched by a Halo

Albert Pujols is an Angel.

I understand he’s just going about his business, but I sorta feel like every time he opens his mouth or takes a swing with that halo on his head he’s deliberately punching me in the gut.

“Here.  Take that, mang.”

Ouch, Albert.  Ouch.

It’s one thing to get over an ex-lover, but it’s another thing to get over an ex-lover when SHE’S TOTALLY IN FRACKING LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.  And when she goes around showing off her newfound bliss that DOESN’T INCLUDE YOU, it makes getting up in the morning pretty dang difficult!  Not even the toughest of tough guys can get rid of the awful, looping image of his ex-girlfriend having hot-love action with some other dude.  It’s just… sickening.


At least I have a back-up plan.

Happy Friday!



  1. This is a very simple game...

    I love Clerks, adore Kevin Smith in general, largely for his dialog, and this scene never fails to crack me up. I never imagined an Albert Pujols/Clerks mash up before but suddenly the thought of “Hey Albert. Try not to ….. on the way through the parking lot.” is just entirely too funny. Well done…er…um…yeah, sorry about the whole suffering part.
    — Kristen

  2. Emma

    Yeah Jeff, I know how you feel. At least he is not close to you and you don’t have to see those “Hombre” billboards in Los Angeles but with the media coverage, is like having him close. I really wish that Pujols would have stayed in St Louis and have his entire career there just like Jeter in New york. I would have admire that. -Emma

  3. uwfootball1

    I am an Jays fan and i am very happy that he did not sign with the Yankeys, Boston, tampa Bay and Baltimore the Jays shall win their divsion but wish that Fielder was still in the NL and i think that Pujols would have showed some class and stayed with the defending champions St Louis check out my blog at

  4. Red State Blue State

    Kristen — I almost added that line to the end but thought better of it.
    Emma — I’ve heard about those billboards. I will be out in L.A. next month so I hope they’re down by then,
    Go Jays — Lofty thinking for the Jays. They’re gonna be better but got a ways to go yet I’m afraid.
    Mike — Yeah, the Cards will be okay. Just takes some mental toughness to get over what we used to have.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s