Somebody Taze Me!

This Wednesday officially kicks off the 2012 MLB season and even though I’ll probably be fast asleep while it unfolds in the Far East, I’m sure the Japanese will be plenty excited about watching two awful teams compete against one another, especially since there’s at least one Suzuki per nine.

On this side of the pond, we have much, MUCH more to look forward to.  In fact, I might need a good tazing before the Cardinals open up in Miami, just so I’m forced to sit down!

Here are some of the things that have me baseball-tweaking:

The GOOD Blue Jays Uniforms Are Back!
Still mesmerized by the awful logo redesign and poor color scheme that killed Joe Carter’s Blue Jays look in 2003, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see the old logo back.  And royal blue!  No gray!  Alongside the Cardinals, Yankees, Dodgers and Red Sox, I gotta say the classic Jays uni is about as smart and sleek as baseball uniforms come.

Grant Balfour Finally Gets to Be  a Closer!
The 34-year old Aussie has been quietly waiting in the wings of every team he’s been on and now, finally, the Oakland A’s are giving him a shot at the closer role.  I still think closers are overrated, but I like to think that maybe, if Balfour performs well in his new role, he might finally get paid what he’s worth.  His numbers are fantastic and most people don’t even know who he is.  I’m afraid playing in Oakland won’t help his popularity, but maybe Billy Beane will throw him another peanut.  (Also, if you’re wondering, yes, Balfour’s fastball does have an Australian accent.)

Bobby Valentine!
I love Bobby Valentine.  For myriad reasons.  He’s cocky.  He’s loud.  His feelings get hurt.  He’s controversial.  He pisses off players, coaches, umpires.  And he’s a goddamn baseball genius.  HOLLA!!!

Jamie Moyer!
Good grief.  The dude is gonna be FIFTY this year.  FIFTY YEARS OLD.  And he’s still gettin’ guys out.  I absolutely love that.  I love him!  How can you not?!?!

And finally… you probably knew this was coming but…





Hate me ‘cuz I’m loud, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.




  1. Mike D.

    I’m starting to get pumped up myself! Not sure why yet but i think it has to do with how much i don’t like watching basketball!

  2. This is a very simple game...

    If Jamie Moyer makes a good go of it this season, I will be all kinds of tickled to see it…and I think he can do it too! The Cardinals are World Champions? Oh yeah! I think I remember reading something about that a while back… 😉 Seriously though, enjoy it! And that is a great photo – baseball fan joy personified.
    — Kristen

  3. Red State Blue State

    Mike D — You must be watching the wrong basketball. Check out Da BULLS! Sox Park is gonna need us to bring some excitement this year by the way.
    Mike — Miami’s unis are an abomination. Complete abomination. No excuse for that.
    Kristen — Jamie’s had a great spring. I can’t wait to see him for another… 2 or 3 years? LOL.

  4. crzblue

    I was too hyper to sleep after the news the Dodgers have new owners. I was contemplating staying up a few hours for the game but finally I was too tired to stay up. Great pictures, especially yours! Is that a rally towel haning out of you? Love the blue unis and I am so rooting for Jamie! I am sure people have given him a “Old Guys Rule” t-shirt.

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