Tagged: Broadcasters

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 13: Nolan Ryan’s Taintedness… and Other Stuff

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Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff and Johanna welcome a very special guest, Second City funny man Mark “Pie” Piebenga, to the Logan Square Studio for an RSBS Podcast pow-wow of epic proportions (we would like to thank Miller Lite for making it, as the kids say, ‘epic’)!  From Jim Joyce’s ‘stache to Nolan Ryan’s pomposity to Nyjer Morgan’s right hook to Bobby Scales’… existence?… all the gloves come off as the fellas look back at the 2010 season and gear up for the winter with plenty of chuckles and plenty of beer.  All to make you laughy laugh!

Holla!

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For more on Mark’s work on RSBSNinemen’s Morris series, check out this story then click on the Ninemen’s Morris tag at the bottom for more early 20th century hilarity!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  Keith is involved in some impressive projects himself.  Check out his work at  Undercard Films.  Seriously.  You should do it.  If you don’t, you might find out about his MMA skills first hand.  Holla!!!

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Recorded Wednesday, November 10, 2010

 

An Extremely Loose and Semi-Offensive Transcription of What Ozzie Guillen Said Last Night

ozzie guillen laughing.jpgYou know it.  I know it.  The US American people know it.

FOX hired Ozzie Guillen to be an analyst on their pre and post game shows for one reason and one reason only: to make sure you at least consider watching their otherwise boring pre and post game shows.

And if you were one of the three or so people who stayed tuned after last night’s rout to suffer through 15 minutes of Chris Rose and Eric Karros’ lisp, well, you’re just as glad as I am that Ozzie was there to break up the monotony.

Even though we have no clue what he said.

The uber-linguistic RSBS interns got to work transcribing, but even they aren’t sure.

Ozzie on the World Series atmosphere:

Dis is wazza gonna want for the ho season. Back in spring train, dis is wazza gonna tink abow forda ho year.  To win a gang after gang after gang, izza gonna hafta looze too.  But dassa wazza gonna happen.  Enjoy it!!!

Ozzie on Juan Uribe’s playoff heroics:

Well, dazza wazza gonna happen.  Dis guy, Uribe, he like a big cat dat like-uh eat something.  He like-uh eat anyting.  Really, he juzza gonna eat so you better let eem eat.  He can hurchoo witta glub and witta bat een hees hanz.

And of course…

Ozzie on what the Rangers have to do to counter the Game 1 loss:

Furs of all, you gonna habba go back in dat clobehouse wit your head up high and make sure you not gonna habba stroke or whadebba ees not gonna kill you you lose one gang.  Errybody losing a gang or eef you northsider you lose a lotta gang (hehehehe) but eet not gonna mattuh go home and tell yo wife you lubba den you relax or what you gonna do to sleep and go to clobehouse tomorrow and win dat gang and maybe another gang back in your own clobehouse.  Dazza wazza gonna habba do.

Whew.

FOX may lose points with Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.  But, dear readers, Ozzie Guillen is an entertainment gold mine!

Hate me.  Fine.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(special thanks to Johanna Mahmud, who contributed to this post)

RSBS Undercover: Jeff as a Yankees Fan, Day 5

jeff as yankees fan.jpg

Oh, man, these last few days living the life of a bonafide Yankee fan have been some sort of trip!  Jeesh, the amount of work that goes into it… it’s just… staggering.

But overall, the sense of entitlement, inflated ego and blabbering-slandering mouth I’ve picked up have helped me transition.

Just to prove my ability, if you haven’t noticed, the Yankees still have 27 trophies.  Still have iconic pinstripes.  Still tout the achievements of the Babe.

Also,
we won Game 1 of the ALCS.  Ha!  Jesus may be on Josh Hamilton’s side,
but underneath that purple robe and thistle crown, Jesus flashes
pinstripes.  Believe that!

Of course, not everything about being a
Yankee fan is easy… which is why I want to share with you my biggest
test yet: enduring Suzyn Waldman.

Jeff as a Yankees Fan, DAY 5:

7:30 a.m.
My
Yankee posse overloads me with a heavy ear workout, forcing me to
listen to the worst broadcasters ever known: Chip Caray, Hawk Harrelson,
Joe Buck.  My coaches insist this is necessary.  I have to build up my
tolerance.  Because I won’t have the option of turning off the radio,
even though I will most certainly want to.

9:50 a.m.
My
ears, sore as can be, can’t take another minute of awful announcing…
so I am forced to endure a thousand papercuts on each lobe instead.

1:00 p.m.
It’s
lunch time.  I’m starving.  And instead of a good healthy meal full of
the necessary proteins and vitamins I will need before game time, I am
presented a platter of fatty, fried foods.  “What’s this?” I ask. 
“Standard pre-Yankee game meal, Jeff” says the chef. “We gotta get you
full of s*** so you fit in tonight.”

4:15 p.m.
I take a nap.  I have a dream.  I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former Yankees and
the sons of former Red Sox will be able to sit down together at a
table of brotherhood and —– what the — damn, that was a stupid dream.

8:05 p.m.
Game time. I f****** HATE the Rangers.  Go Yankees!

8:06 p.m.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Suzyn Waldman’s voice… it’s… at
game time it’s even worse than… no… three more hours of… I gotta
listen to this crap for three more —

jeffs ears bleeding.jpg

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


suzyn waldman.jpg

9:45 p.m.
Are we winning?  Are we losing?  I can’t stop my ears from bleeding.  Damn you, Suzyn Waldman. Damn you!!!

11:15 p.m.
It’s all over now.  It’s been over.  We won.  But wow… it was not
easy.  I never thought I’d say this, because I find him to be a perfect
example of everything that’s wrong with modern day broadcasting, but
thank the baseball gods for John Sterling…

Now, does anyone know a good ears, nose and throat guy?

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To be continued…

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 10: Bud Selig’s Salad… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 10.jpg

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And so in this Podcast…

It’s our monumental TENTH EPISODE, y’all!  Party is the name of the game as Jeff, Allen and Johanna dive into an exciting playoff tempered show including three hallowed memories, two Morgans (Nyjer and the Captain) and one inception… not to mention a whole lot of confusion over a $500 pair of speedos with Albert Pujols’ face on it.  Plus much more, including the Lou Piniella mailbag!  All to make you laughy-time!

Holla!

– – –

Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special

thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  Check out
his Undercast podcast and visit his movie-making website Undercard Films if you don’t want him to kick your bum.  Did I mention he is an MMA fighter?  It’s true.  How else do you think Johanna’s face got so disfigured?!?  Lookout!

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MUSIC BY MEQQA <— Download their music it is rad as hell 🙂

Recorded Saturday, September 11, 2010

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 9: Jeter’s Unfortunate Accident… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 3.jpg

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And so in this Podcast…

Once again, Jeff and Johanna tread the unconventional waters of mischief-making as they delve into important social issues such as cock-fighting Aramis Ramirez, Stephen Strasburg’s golden elbow, Katy Perry’s wisdom, the Lou Piniella mailbag and much, much more!  Turn up the volume and chuckle with us, y’all!

Holla!

– – –

Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special
thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  If you like laughing or just wanna listen to some wildly impromptu conversations about food, film making and other important life subjects like living on display in a museum, check out his Undercast podcast.  Visit Undercard Films!

– – –

MUSIC BY MEQQA <— Download their music it is rad as hell 🙂

Recorded Saturday, August 28, 2010

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 8: Jason Heyward’s Bust… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 8.jpg
Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Allen: “If somebody’s willing to pay you the money, then that’s what you’re worth.”

Jeff: “I make magic happen…”

Johanna: “Chapped sack.”

Of course, that’s just the beginning… there’s also punching Mrs. Johanna’s dad and spending a night in jail, Judge Judy putting Yankees to shame, Oh-No-Farnsworth, the Lou Piniella Mailbag and much, much more… bringin’ great big laughs to those bellies yo!

Holla!

– – –

Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and all-around sound guru.  If you like baseball, wanna learn about the Negro Leagues and would like to know more about stuff that is awesome, check out his Undercast podcast.  He’s an MMA fighter too. So listen or he’ll beat you up.  Visit Undercard Films!

– – –

MUSIC BY MEQQA <— Download their music it is rad as hell 🙂

Recorded Saturday, August 14, 2010

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 6: MLB’s Chimeras… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 7.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff and his Cub-lovin’ pal Johanna Mahmud put their heads together to find out what’s wrong with Joe Buck’s face… they also talk about a slew of other important stuff, including (but not limited to) Andre Dawson being a bad@ss, why everyone hates Cleveland, Pete Hill of the Negro Leagues, Matt Capps’ ginormous noggin, the Lou
Piniella Mailbag and much,
much more… all to make you laughy time!

Holla!

P.S. Language definitely rated R on this one. We let ourselves go a bit… but it’s a lot of fun (trust us).


– –

Subscribe
to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe

via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special

thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  His Undercast
podcast is a must-listen (listen to it!).  It’s available on iTunes and
is posted regularly at Undercard

Films.

Recorded Saturday, July 24, 2010