Tagged: Democrats

Let’s Leave Carrie Out of It, Shall We?

sexy carrie underwood.jpgThere is no question: walk-up music is power. 

Oh, don’t pretend like you haven’t thought about what your walk-up music would be.  Me?  Depends on the mood, but right now it’d be the first few bars of Cats, Van, Bags, or anything by Slayer.

For others, it may be something more tributary.  I fondly remember getting out of my seat and dancing every time Eli Marrero came to the plate with his uptempo salsa music blasting the stadium.  And how could I forget my first Adam Dunn walk-up?  Allen was there with me.  We were both in awe by his slow Phil Collins inspired saunter!

But I just plain don’t like it when politicians try to adopt songs from pop culture.  I didn’t like Bill Clinton’s use of what was once a great Fleetwood Mac song (mostly because of how it affected Al and Tipper, which subsequently made me throw up in my mouth, a lot) and I am not very fond of the current GOP’s outlandish claim to the Carrie Underwood song “Undo It”.

Undo what?

Health care?

Um…

Hold on a sec…

* * *

Okay, I’m back.  I had to go break some s***.

Undo it!?!?!?!?  How about you undo the notion that the previous band of politicians wasn’t fairly elected to make some big @ssed decisions that we — the friggin PEOPLE — asked them to make.

This whole running a country thing… it isn’t a game.  It’s not something to be taken lightly.  So I propose that the new majority spend less time thinking about what they want their walk-up music to be, and more time finding out how to pay for health care; because I think I broke my hand a minute ago breaking some s*** and now I need to go to Urgent Care.

Also, Carrie Underwood is too damn sexy to be associated with… Glenn Beck.

Ew.

Hate me.  I don’t care.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

This Took 18 Years!?!?

DADT.jpgNow that we have had some time to reflect on the long awaited senate floor victory in repealing the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy which banned homosexuals from openly being… themselves while serving in our nation’s military, I have to ask just one, important question:

WHY DID IT TAKE SO FRIGGIN’ LONG?!?!?

Because we are not talking about a fine Scotch that needs to sit in a smoked barrel for 18 years, we’re talking about human beings — human beings who are who they are because they are who they are, just like human beings are White or Black or Asian or Cubs fans because that’s just who they are.  The fact that we allowed our government to implement such an anti-liberty policy in an institution meant to protect us and our allies, granting and preserving liberty, of all things, is a goddamn travesty, dear readers!

A travesty!

This is US America.  We are supposed to set the bar high.  And when it comes to treating our fellow man as we would want to be treated, we are really f***ing bad at it.  Yeah, yeah, I know haters g’on hate… but why?  What is there to hate?  What difference does it make to you where so-and-so puts his thing-a-ma-bob while in the comforts of his bedroom with his lover?  Huh?  WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

It doesn’t.

Unless you’re ignorant.

And unfortunately, a lot of people are really, really ignorant.

I can only hope that some day, somehow, someway, people wake up to the simple reality that life would be a lot better for ALL OF US if we just learn to treat each other with respect, like we would want to be treated.  The golden rule, my friends.  The golden rule.

And the golden rule would definitely welcome the current “homosexual political agenda” in the United States, which is simply:

“To be protected against violent crimes driven by bigotry, to be able to get married, to be able to get a job, and it’s to be able to fight for our country.”

Barney Frank (D-MA)

Don’t.

Hate.

Peace,

Jeff

Bet He Didn’t SEE This Coming

david paterson smiling.jpgForgive me. I know. I know.

That was a pretty lame pun… one that has probably been done a bazillion times already.

But I don’t care, because it justly proves my point — literally and figuratively — that people with money, people with power, people with clout (like New York governor David Paterson) often get whatever they want, whenever they want it; and you and I Joe Plumbers never hear about it.

NOT THIS TIME!!!

So, as the good gov’nuh pays out his $62K fine (which, is roughly how much Alex Rodriguez makes every three innings) for stickin’ the taxpayer with the cost of his World Series tickets, let us remember that, indeed, even the rich don’t always get what they want.

Unless this was some Red Sox fan-fueled controversy that originated with ill intentions meant to disrupt and expose the Yankees’ front office and their ongoing lobbying interests (which may or may not involve the absolute destruction of Ted Williams’ frozen head).

Yeah, yeah, I know… it’s been over a year since Teddy’s head was even relevant, but just like they say: revenge is a dish best served cold.

Or, on a stick.

Hate me ‘cuz it’s Monday, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

They Can’t All Be Davey Johnson

davey johnson.jpgOne Sandy Alderson down for the Mets.

One media-savvy New York minute prepped skipper to go.

And as long as Davey Johnson refuses to come out of retirement and lead the Mets back to respectability, it looks like new GM Alderson and company are gonna have a pretty big decision to make in the very near future.  But like always, RSBS is here to help!  In fact, we would like to see Mets fans smile every now and then, so we got the interns busy and boy did they come up with some mighty smart suggestions!

Rudy Giuliani
He’s a New Yorker.  He’s got a lisp (which indicates ability to persevere… and succeed?).  He hates smut and could really clean up the place (talkin’ about you, Ollie Perez, you waste of oxygen).

Then again, Rudy is a Yankees fan.  So he’s probably a real a$$h0le.

Haile Gebrselassie
Why not?  The world’s greatest all-time distance runner just retired… while in New York!  If anyone can endure such pain, such suffering, such mental anguish… oh, wait, he didn’t finish the New York Marathon?  See!  That’s why he’s perfect!  He’ll fit right in with the Metropolitans and their penchant for pre-finish line collapses!

Christine O’Donnell
Remember that black cat that ran across the field during the opening night at Citi Field?  Uh…. yeah.  That was no accident, folks.  That was the work of a witch.  A non-masturbating, adamant teabagging, scary spell spewing witch.  Holla!!!

Conan O’Brien
Dude!  Conan RULED New York back in the day… remember?  Then he got the big show, moved to L.A. and got canned a few months in.  Sounds a lot like Darryl Strawberry, doesn’t it?  Yep.  The connections are too great to ignore.  So don’t.

And finally…

Clint Hurdle.jpgClint Hurdle
I know he’s being interviewed for the job… and I know he’s sort of a lame duck skipper… but the man is ORANGE!!! Move over, Mr. Met, Clint and his biohazzard-proof skin are ’bout to back that a$s up right into yo clubhouse!

Hate me ‘cuz it’s Tuesday, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Bring Out Yer Dead

bring-out-your-dead.jpg
Okay.  The hangover is over now.

I think.

I mean, a lot has happened in the last week or so to warrant plenty of no-limit megafortified soused out partying — the kind of partying Mr. Krause and I used to do back in our… well, yesterday. 

But not even our dynamic duo could match the celebratory merits of the state of California in recent days.  Let’s review the highlights:

jenny oropeza.JPEGThe Giants won the World Series.  Lindsay Lohan hasn’t been re-arrested (yet).  And Jenny Oropeza was elected state senator.

All sounds good, right?

Except that Jenny Oropeza is dead.

Was dead.

On election day!

But if California despises anything it’s gotta be the GOP.  And who can blame them?  Ronald Reagan, what have you done for me lately? Huh?

Exactly.

The Republicans may have hoodwinked the imbecilic US American consensus with their unparalleled fear-based badgering and faux middle class talking points, but the late Jenny Oropeza’s state senate victory is proof that their diabolic plan is far, far, far from being a reality.

Hate me ‘cuz it hasn’t been banned yet, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

‘Merica, This Is Your Country Calling

tea bagging for jesus.jpgAnd it is up to you to answer.

Because while we congratulate the San Francisco Giants and crown them as World Champions of Baseball, your country remains in dire need of your attention, your intelligence, your action!

While I have long subscribed to the “when in doubt, go left” theory of politics, I realize that now — during a time when most people seem to be more angry, more cynical, more in doubt about any and everything than ever before — that such a theory may seem just as blind and just as stupid as the uninformed bible-bearin’ masses who inject fear and hate and intolerance into every single conversation.

But don’t be fooled.

It ain’t.

The Tea Party might be the scariest thing on the planet since… since Sarah Palin came within six percentage points of being that proverbial heartbeat away from the most powerful position in the world.

We just barely avoided that catastrophe.  Let’s not get that close again.

So go out.  Do your duty.  Be that baseball and apple pie lovin’ US American

Just see to it that ya do the right thing.

masturbate and vote.jpg
And remember, this is ‘Merica.  You can hate me.  It’s a free country.

Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(second image via 9GAG)