Tagged: Derek Jeter

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 15: Varitek’s Lotto Numbers… and Other Stuff

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Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

The hot stove is so hot that we had to add more fuel to the sizzlin’ fire!  Jeff, Allen and Johanna are joined by Second City’s Mark Piebenga and Red Sox loyalist Troy Jagodowski to get down and dirty on all the offseason drama.  Discussion topics include but are not limited to: what Theo Epstein was smokin’ when he re-signed Varitek, the end of Troy Tulowitski, the continued morphing of the Hall of Fame, the A-Gon deal and much, much more… all to make you laugh that milk right through your nose!

Holla!

– – –

Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  You can check out Keith’s wicked podcast and his subsequent film projects at  Undercard Films.  The dude has mad skillz, so you might wanna pay attention.  Do it!  Now!

– – –

Recorded Saturday, December 4, 2010

Lookin’ Good in Yankeeland

sexy-yankee-fan.jpgWHOA! Looking back at the weekend, I sat down to try and understand firsthand what offseason life must be like as a Yankees fan.  I got into it.  And I got sorta aroused. 

Mo’s back.

Jeter’s back.

And…

I found the picture to the right on a Google image search, hoping to find something that could illustrate just how arousing the above arrangement actually is.

If there were a hell, I’d be the president of it.

Hate me.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The WikiLeaking of Major League Baseball

wikileak.jpegVigilantes! Whistle-blowers! And spies!

Oh my!

Don’t worry, dear readers, RSBS is on it.  Sure, the WikiLeaks crew seems to be focusing their efforts on outing wrongs and ending wars, but don’t forget: a lot of these folks are US Americans (I think?) and after they solve enough military crises and torture pandemics, they’re gonna turn their attention to what really matters:

Baseball.

Luckily, for you, we have the inside track.  Of course, such sensitive information doesn’t come easily, and It is important to remember that many RSBS interns perished in order to bring you the truth.

Please.  Be respectful of that.

And do with it what you will.  After reading the following information, I advise you to lock all the doors, close all the windows and drink some beer.  You’ll feel better.

Maybe.

– – – WIKILEAKS CONFIDENTIAL; MLB FACTION – – –

Derek Jeter is being courted by the Red Sox.  And he is listening.

The Expos are not dead. They’re frozen in carbonite until the Quebecois can be fooled into thinking they’re watching hockey. Almost there.

Peter Gammons is Gepetto. For real.

The Pittsburgh Pirates’ 1979 uniform combos were designed by embedded Russian spies hoping to kill the American public with ugliness. They almost succeeded… if it weren’t for that damn Sister Sledge!!!

Contrary to popular belief, Desmond Jennings is NOT Carl Crawford. The Rays are making a mistake.

Jon Hamm loves the Cardinals. (Oh, that’s not a secret? Of course not… everyone should love the Cardinals!)

The Cubs remain in a perpetual state of misery… because they can. Cubs fans keep coming back. For more.

Prince Fielder is prone to eating himself if left alone for more than 15 minutes at a time.

Yorvit Torrealba’s name spelled backwards is Ablaerrot Tivory, which looks like a Prussian hybrid name. But it’s not. It’s Spanish. Backwards. Try it. You’ll see.

And finally…

We know what Jayson Werth did last summer… and it wasn’t Chase Utley’s wife!!!

– – – END CONFIDENTIALITY – – –

Hate me ‘cuz I get the facts.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Something We Can All Get Behind

jeter_draft.jpgNo reader of this blog wonders about my feelings towards the Yankees.  My opinions have been as unequivocally clear as they are opaque when it comes to my politics.  But even I can still be surprised by the depths to which the Evil Empire will sink.

Now, admittedly I take this a little more personally because, despite my distaste for his team, Derek Jeter hails from the same part of southwest Michigan where I grew up.  I won’t say I like the guy but I respect him as a baseball player and I respect anyone who can escape from that particular corner of hell.  To go from the cornfields of Kalamazoo to dating Esquire’s sexiest woman alive, well, that means something.

In general, I support baseball’s modernization.  Free agency, although
it means players move around a bit, hasn’t killed the game.  But if this Steinbrenner ploy leads to Jeter
wearing something other than pinstripes?  Even I think that’s wrong.  However, if
it were to drive a wedge between him and Minka and somehow send her my
way, I guess I could get behind that.

Minka_Kelly_Esquire_Sexiest_Woman_Alive.jpgYep, behind that.

-A

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 12: Lifestyles of the Rich and Heinous… and Other Stuff

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Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff, Allen and Johanna vehemently compare and critique Croc-based lifestyles, which (surprisingly) include but are not limited to the many labels of Josh Hamilton (including those who are scantily clad), Derek Jeter’s inner Pete Rose, Jeff’s go-to-Gehrig impression, Ozzie Guillen’s mess-mouth and much, much more… all so you can at least laugh while you waste some valuable time!!! Go ahead, laugh it up, fuzzball!

Holla!

– – –

Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  Keith is involved in some impressive projects himself.  Check out his work at  Undercard Films.  Seriously.  Do it.  Or I’ll have Prince Fielder sit on your face.

– – –

Recorded Saturday, October 30, 2010

RSBS Undercover: Jeff as a Yankees Fan, Day 11

jeff as yankees fan.jpgThe learning curve on being a Yankees fan isn’t nearly as forgiving as one might expect given the Evil Empire’s age old stranglehold on professional sports fandom.  I’m a smart guy; but even I am having a hard time understanding it all:

“We friggin’ HATE A.J. Burnett!”

“We friggin’ LOVE A.J. Burnett!”

“WHO the friggin’ frig is A.J. Burnett!?!?”

Uh… what?

But don’t let lightning fast fluttering allegiances get ya down, especially if you’re a bandwagoneer.  As long as you remember the basics (i.e. Jeter is GOD; Mo will kill you in your sleep and not break a sweat; Posada is a defense-challenged commodity) then you shouldn’t have any troubles navigating through the Yankees’ world of privileged self-righteousness.

Of course, there’s one more thing you should know: once you go there… you can never go back.  You can never unsee.  Never unfeel.

When Mark Teixeira went down with his injury the other night, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking…

albert pujols yankees.jpg
Now, pardon me while my conscious does battle with my psyche.

Happy Friday!

Jeff

Captain Morgan Calls for Captainism!

Just how Captain Morgan is able to be in both my liquor cabinet and the Oakland Coliseum at the same time is beyond me.  But he is.  Or… was.  In fact, last week he was seen comparing hooks with Mr. Perfect himself, Dallas Braden, while bringing the party with him in the way of one blonde, one redhead and one enviable, swashbuckling goatee.

Dallas Braden Compares Hooks with CM.JPG

That’s right.  Just when you thought captainism in US America was dead, here comes Captain Morgan throwing out the first pitch at a ballpark near you.  While captains may run rampant in the NHL, the NFL and MLS, Major League Baseball suffers from a supreme shortage.

Derek Jeter.  Jason Varitek.  Paul Konerko.

Those are your only true, official captains.

Jeter?  Understood. 

Varitek?  That’s a joke, right?

Paulie?  Deserved, but under appreciated and way under publicized.  In fact, I didn’t even know he was the Sox captain until yesterday… and I live next to the ball park!

CM Throws First Pitch in As Cap.JPG

Look, I’m a purist.  You know this.  Axe the replay, axe the jumbotron, axe the synthetic unis… I’m cool with all of that.  But in lieu of the Nyjer Morgans and Milton Bradleys of the world, I think MLB would do a lot of good to inject more leadership into its ranks, spice it up with a “C” patch, subject the younger players to some authority. 

Evan Longoria, Albert Pujols, Joe Mauer… they already look and act like captains.  Can’t we just make it official?

Either that, or at least make it mandatory for that blonde and that redhead to make an appearance every ballpark in the league. (No need for the goatee. I have one of those already.)

Oh… and I’ll be waiting at Sox Park.

So go ahead and hate me… just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(Images via Getty Images)