Oh man. One of my favorite topics. Focus on the Family, James Dobson and the complete absence of logic and reason. This is the man who accepts the biblical book of Leviticus’ definition of homosexuality as an abomination but ridicules Sen. Obama’s “fruitcake interpretation” of the Bible when Obama mentioned some obviously outdated passages from the same book. For Mr. Dobson, the only rules in the Bible that apply are those that help him retain his perch as the Right’s watchdog of doctrine.
In some ways, “purist” baseball fans and Mr. Dobson have a lot in common. They both like to talk about the good ol’ days, when things were pure and simple but also manage to ignore the irony when they take advantage of how much better things have gotten since those days. By the same token, they like to pick and choose which parts of the ancien regime they like and which are just anachronisms.
Sorry guys, you don’t get it both ways. If Leviticus convinces you that homosexuality is an abomination and we have to live with that as the rule, we also need to accept that slavery is all right because Leviticus says that, too. And if the DH destroys the purity of baseball, then so does the fact that players have to remove their gloves and equipment from the field while batting. Times change and ideas and games must evolve if they want to stay relevant.
For instance, the idea of faith used to be commonly accepted, everything happens for a reason and sometimes you just have to accept that because you can’t understand it. Nope. Sorry. That’s not always true. Katrina destroyed New Orleans because the levees were not up to par, not because god was mad at America. And the Cardinals didn’t make any moves at the deadline because they have crappy management, not because the management knows something we don’t. In fact, to be fair, you can say the same thing about the Tigers’ trade for Kyle Farnsworth.
So, where does this all leave us at the end of the day? Simple. Baseball is a game that has evolved and because of that, it grows more popular every year. And James Dobson is a fossilized relic of another time and like all fossils we should look at him and take the story of his demise as a warning for ourselves.
There comes a point in every season where you realize that it’s time to throw in the towel. For Oakland A’s fans, that point comes in the first round or so of the playoffs. For Royals fans, it’s opening day. And for Cubs fans, well, they never seem to realize that it’s time. But, even though there’s still a lot of games to be played in the season, I’m going to go ahead and say it. I’m throwing in the towel on the Tigers.
Now, normally I wouldn’t be saying something so blasphemous at this point, especially since my friend Mr. Lung will have no small amount of fun with this. But, the fact of the matter is that for all the money the Tigers spent on hitting and pitching during the offseason (12 million on Dontrelle and he can’t even throw strikes in single-A ball???!), they can’t seem to score any runs and the addition of Farnsworth to the bullpen did not help an already woeful pitching staff. So, I’ll admit it. You were right. The Tigers will not make the playoffs and I’m going to be stuck watching the same six teams battle it out in the AL. Sounds great.
But, at least you’ll be joining me while the Cardinals become another also ran and the Brewers and Cubbies run away with the division.
However, let me break the Tigers and Cards down for you in terms that are germane to this blog. The Tigers are Hillary Clinton, spending lots of money, going into debt and the whole world is sure they’re going to represent them come the end of the season. But when it comes down to it, a couple really bad moves end up killing them. And the Cardinals are Ron Paul, a great story with a lot of the right elements but, in the end, they just don’t have all the pieces you need to make it to the payoff round.
So, at this point I’m guessing this is making you feel about as good as it makes me feel and that ain’t good. So, I’ll just let it go and pour out a little for my fallen friends, the Detroit Tigers. Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll come back some day like I’m still sure Tupac is going to do.