Tagged: Filibuster

The Filibuster

What happened to the Twins?

Seth S.
Saint Paul, MN
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Ah, yes, the Minnesota Twins.  What did happen to those paragons of fundamentally sound baseball?  An analysis of such depth requires patience, dedication and an insatiable hunger for the truth, so I put the RSBS interns to the task and they have provided the following slide show:

2010

New ballpark! Yay! It’s…er… HUGE!

I CAN HAZ $184 MILLIONS!?!? IN EXCHANGE I’LL STOP HITTING HRs!

Ouch! Who turned out the lights?!?

DOH! DAMN THOSE DAMN YANKEES… AGAIN!!!

2011

Never fear! Tsuyoshi Nishioka is here!

And then… his leg is broken. Thanks for nothing, Nick Swisher! Damn you, damn Yankees!!!

And the rest of the Twins 2011 clubhouse… barely breathin’.

2012

Y U NO MOVE IN FENCES!?!? AGGH!!!

When will Justin’s ouchy-head be fixed? I need help, dammit!

Aaaaand this guy…

Nope, not even the healthy return of Morneau could make the pain of the above image go away.  In fact, 2012 sorta seems like a good time to reset everything.  Surprisingly, the Twins do have some decent offensive production (Mauer, Morneau, Willingham, Plouffe), but their pitching has been atrocious.  Like, Kent Hrbek farting in your face type of “atrocious”.  The average ERA of their six starters is over 5 and they have been blown out (lost by 5+ more runs) 23 times so far.  And the bullpen?  YIKES!  Don’t ask them to hold a lead ‘cuz it’ll be difficult!

Like old baseball men love to say, “You’re only as good as your pitching”, and, well, when your pitching resembles the bottom of a porta-potty and the rest of the team can’t stay healthy, awful is pretty much what ya get.  Don’t believe me?  Ask the perennial sCrUBS.

Hate me ‘cuz I made you look at that famous Mauer back hair guy again, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff (and interns)

Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster? Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing RSBSblog@gmail.com or by commenting below.

The Filibuster

What MLB team does the GOP most resemble?

Ryan G.
Mendon, IL

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You can draw a lot of different analogies between baseball and politics and you can draw even more between baseball and the Republican party.  A bunch of rich white guys with a sense of entitlement and maybe a token minority or two thrown in just for flavor?  We could be talking the Republican party or the baseball owners.  A scorched-earth policy that leaves everyone worse off?  That could be either the baseball owners in the 1994 strike season or the Republican leadership team in 2008.  Considering that one of the baseball owners became President and de facto leader of the Republican party for eight years in 2000, it would be pretty easy to say that GOP most resembles the owners.

But that’s not the question.  The question is which team does the GOP most resemble and that requires a little more analysis.

My first thought, especially with the recent rise to prominence of Paul Ryan, was the San Francisco Giants.  The Giants used to be known for their history with inspirational guys like Willie Mays and  Dave Dravecky.  That’s like the old GOP, the party of Lincoln and even Nixon, minus the whole Watergate thing.  Now, though, the Giants are the team of Barry Bonds and Melky Cabrera.  They’re the team of liars.  After Paul Ryan’s speech at the Republican National Convention that even a Fox News commentator called “deceiving” and the absolutely flabbergasting claim by Ryan that he ran a sub three hour marathon (since “corrected”), you’d have to put him in the same category as Bonds and Cabrera.

Still, that doesn’t seem to be enough.  Lying is well and good, even when called something different, but RSBS readers demand more.

There are a bunch of other possibilities, from the Red Sox to the Dodgers but really, when you stop and think about it, there’s only one answer to this question.  The GOP could only be the New York Yankees.

A group of millionaire crybabies who routinely underachieve despite having every advantage known to man?  Could be the Yankees, could be the Republicans.  Supporters incessantly screwed over by a leadership group that routinely takes money from supporters’ pockets while those supporters not only cheer them on but also keep coming back for more?  Hm, really could be either one.  An unnatural love of pinstripes?  I think you can see where this is going.

Really, the answer couldn’t be any easier and I’m almost ashamed to have to say it.  But just because it’s easy that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.  Occam’s Razor, my friends.

-A

The Filibuster

Thoughts on the blockbuster?  Are you surprised?

Miles G.
Niles, MI
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When news broke of the blockbuster trade between the Dodgers and Red Sox sending Adrian Gonzalez, Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford and Nick Punto to LaLa Land for James Loney and prospects I had to put down my beer, take a few deep breaths and squint to make sure I was reading the news ticker at the bottom of the screen correctly.

I was.

Well, looky there, I thought, out with the Theo, in with the Cherrington/Bobby V.

I was a bit surprised that it happened after the trade deadline and before the offseason, but when considering how it took place (the Dodgers claiming Gonzalez and Beckett off the waiver wire), it wasn’t that suprirsing that a deal developed so quickly.  By rule, the parties involved only had 48 hours to get a deal done and both sides seemed to know exactly what they wanted.

The Dodgers wanted to spend money on star power.  The Red Sox wanted a do-over.

Both got their wish and the result is an exciting development for all of baseball!

But what is really surprising to me on this day is completely unrelated to baseball.  Like this guy’s nightmarish job.  That’s surprising.  Or how about that former Baywatch star Donna D’Errico hurt herself while off searching for a mythical boat.  That’s surprising.  Or how about that Mitt Romney is questioning President Obama’s birth certificate?  That’s–

Oh, wait.  That’s not surprising at all.

Hate me ‘cuz you gotta go to work tomorrow, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster? Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing RSBSblog@gmail.com or by commenting below.

The Filibuster

Obama/Biden is hardly the Cabrera/Fielder combination it once was.  Should the president drop Joe?

Aaron T.
Woodbridge, VA

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Apparently the VP’s comments about the big banks putting “y’all back in chains” under a Romney administration have set off a firestorm of criticism.  Of course the Romney campaign indignantly declared this a new low in an election that will surely reach entirely new lows over the next few months.  But if you take a step back, none of this should really come as a surprise.  It’s just Biden being Biden.

Anyone who follows politics knows that Joe Biden is a walking gaffe machine.  I mean, this is the man who famously referred to the future President as “articulate and bright and clean.”  At least this time he’s pointing his rhetorical weapons of mass destruction at the other side.  And let’s be honest here, that’s part of the reason why Obama brought him on board as VP in the first place.  It’s also one of the reasons why there’s absolutely no reason for the President to drop him now.

Honestly, Biden’s moment last week was a godsend for the Obama campaign.  It followed news of the Paul Ryan pick, a moment that was supposed to change the election debate to matters of the economy and the budget.  Instead, the press and everyone else is talking about Biden’s statement.  Add in that it fires up an important part of the Democratic base, black Americans, and I really don’t see where this is hurting the Obama campaign at all.  Biden’s “gaffes” often serve to humanize both him and the President he serves.  They also give the campaign a way to say something while still claiming plausible deniability.  “Hey, we didn’t ask him to say that.  That’s just Biden being Biden.  However, now that you mention it….”  Sounds like a winning strategy to me.

More than that, though, Obama has no desire to get rid of Biden because Biden is the guy who turns the Obama strategy into reality.  You think the Affordable Care Act gets passed without Biden making calls and twisting arms?  You think “Don’t ask, don’t tell” gets repealed without Joe putting in some face time?  Sure, sometimes he may force the President’s hand, like with his comments on gay marriage, but is that such a bad thing?  Here’s an even better analogy.  Biden is COO to Obama’s CEO.  And trust me, being CEO without an effective COO is a painful proposition.  Just ask George HW Bush about that one.

Should Obama drop Joe?  Hell no.

-A

The Filibuster

Usain Bolt is looking to try out with a British soccer team. What athlete that you’ve seen in the Olympics would you most like to see trying out for an American baseball team?

Ethan
Santa Clara, CA
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Olympians turned baseballers?  I like the way you think, Ethan.  And I welcome the possibilities!

I can’t help but think Michael Phelps would look good in Yankee pinstripes.  The man has 20 Olympic medals — hardware that would surely look good next to 27 World Series trophies.  And let’s face it, the dude has earned the right to be as cocky and off-putting as he is.  He might not have Derek Jeter’s golden little black book yet, but some time around the Captain and soon he too could be kissing mirrors of himself.

When it comes to actual physical strength though I might suggest Holley Mangold take up a spot in the American League as a DH.  She wouldn’t have to actually do much running or having anyrefined skills other than swinging for the fences; and accounting for her already buoyant build, I don’t think we would have to worry about any Giambian steroid scandals.

Of course, no baseball league is complete without its lovable losers.  And considering how much crying Jordyn Wieber did in the 30th Olympiad, I think she’d be a perfect fit for the Chicago Cubs.

But let’s not forget, when it comes to an Olympian I want on my baseball team, there is no one other than THE Usain Bolt.

Holy jerk chicken, that guy is a bonafide SUPERSTAR!!!

Have you EVER seen anything more exciting the last 4 years than watching that man run!?!?!  Unbelievable!  I’d want him in center field, catching everything in between the foul poles.  At the plate, I’d have him try to walk as much as possible, just to mess with the opposing pitchers’ mind before taking off to fly around the bases.  And look out if he actually hits a ball out of the infield, ‘cuz dude is gonna turn singles into doubles and doubles into inside-the-parkers!

Not only that, but Bolt is also insanely entertaining in the most endearing of ways — a happy-go-lucky clowner who can back it up with performance as opposed to the psychotic shenanigans of a WAY less talented Tony Plush.

Forget soccer, Mr. Bolt, please come wear the birds on the bat.

And don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster? Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing RSBSblog@gmail.com or by commenting below.

The Filibuster

Who is the man with the masterplan?

Jake 
Macomb, IL

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Good question, Jake!  And the answer isn’t as easy as one Dr. Dre would lead you to believe.

Honestly, it’s hard to just pick one person and say he’s the man with the masterplan.  And since we here at RSBS like to avoid being too categorical, I’m going to give you a list of possibilities and let you decide.

First we turn to the world of baseball.  Here, you could say it’s the Washington Nationals, the former laughingstock of the league who now find themselves with the second best record in baseball, who are the man.  Or, how about the Cincinnati Reds with the best record in baseball?  Even that would be ignoring the Pittsburgh Pirates, who, although several games behind the Reds, are still in wildcard contention.  The Pirates?!

If that’s too vague for you, we could always try to drill down a little and offer up some individuals.  You can’t spit these days without hitting some news about Mike Trout.  However, at only 20 years old, it’s a little hard to say that he’s the man with the masterplan.  The same could be said of Stephen Strasburg, although the Nationals’ plan to limit his innings this season could be seen as a masterplan…..or a master cock-up if it costs them a playoff spot or a deep playoff run.

When you say masterplan, though, that seems to be a bit more global than just Major League Baseball.  This sounds more like it requires worldwide dominance in which case we should turn our eyes toward London and the Olympic games.  The obvious choices here are the US Men’s basketball team who unfortunately seemed almost human against the Lithuanians and Michael Phelps, the Midas of swimming who has a knack for turning almost everything gold.

However, it also doesn’t hurt to look a bit further afield.  For instance, how about a man who dabbles in and dominates a field of pseudo-gymnastics.  That’s right.  Olympic men’s trampoline champion, Dong Dong.  With a name like that and  the current title-holder as World and Olympic champion, it’s hard to say he’s not the man with the masterplan.

-A

The non-Filibuster

Jeff is off on a well-deserved break this week and we decided to give the filibuster a rest as well.  We’ll be back next week with all the jeremiadical paroxysms you expect from the RSBS crew.  In the meantime, to salve the pain of the missing filibuster, we present a recently discovered video of Jeff in the privacy of his own home:

[youtube http://youtu.be/7CCn0l-r26I]

Happy Sunday!

-A