Bad ideas are everywhere. All around us. Sometimes they’re blatantly awful. Sometimes they take a while to figure out. But whether it’s a delusional moron (who supposedly has the invisible ear of “gawd”) scheming to kill gay folks or a real life horror-show cutting up his friends and eating them, bad ideas are abundant.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop them from happening.
Even if one should know better.
That’s right. During a recent Red Sox game I became fixated with the primordial ugliness of our good flopsweatin’ friend, Vicenteticus Padillicarpeus (known to some as Vicente Padilla). Before I knew it, I was doing a Google image search of the man. Why?
I wish I knew.
All I know now is that a little big of ugly is a bad idea. A whole lot of ugly is a night without sleep.
Hate me ‘cuz I’m cruel, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
“Over the weekend, a 10-year-old Westchester, New York boy attempted to break the world record for
wearing the most pairs of underwear at one time.”
–Hailey Eber, BlackBook
Obviously, the evolution of our species isn’t always smooth.
Now, dear readers, I’m no scientist, but I am fairly certain that the same neurological misfirings of the human brain responsible for the abomination alluded to above, are the exact same neurological misfirings responsible for us thinking it’s okay for the Tampa Bay Rays to wear powder blue jerseys… which are the exact same neurological misfirings that lead people to believe Rod Blagojevich is really just a nice guy who made a mistake.
Sometimes my species embarrasses me.
So hate me… if you must. But please remember: unless you’re George Brett, you only need to wear one set of undies.
And, oh yeah… don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
And since I have heard the Yankee fan speech on why names are not pertinent to your ball club more times than Alex Rodriguez has lied to the public, I say ya’ll should stick to your own program.
Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
(Image courtesy of the Associated Press)