Tagged: Joe Maddon

Coming Clean

lidge_celebrate.jpgLast night, as Philly fans celebrated like Sarah Palin look-alikes, I settled back in my easy chair and fervently prayed that I had not just used up all my prediction mojo. See, back when this thing started I picked the Phillies to win the Series, comparing them to a certain junior senator from Illinois. And several weeks later, here we are. The Phillies dominated the Rays in just about every category, much like Obama has been doing to John McCain. But, I think it’s safe to say that no Philadelphia fan felt safe until after the ump called strike three on Eric Hinske last night.

Obama fans should feel the same way. Andrew Sullivan posted this the other day and it pretty much sums up the way things stand right now:

But despite all the concerns, I’m going to go ahead and say it. Obama is the new Brad Lidge and he’s going to close this thing down.

Now, I’d like to take the high road and leave things where they are but I can’t help but gloat a little bit in realizing that I’ve gotten the last word on my good friend, Mr. Lung. See, he doubted my pick from the beginning and even picked the Rays last week while extolling the virtues of his new man-crush. But, the Phillies came through which doesn’t mean much since I am now zero dollars richer as a result.

To be honest, this victory feels a little empty. It’s not that I have anything against the Phillies or regret their win. But, after the money the Tigers spent in the offseason, I was ready to see my team holding up their trophy while Justin Verlander carried off his first World Series MVP Award. It all looked so good in my mind.

I guess that in the end the only option I have is to borrow a refrain heard most often coming from Cubs fans. Next year is our year! Man, I can’t believe I just compared myself to a Cubs fan. Time to go take a shower and wash off the filfth.

-A

A Question of Progressive Participle

Joe Maddon 3.jpgThere’s just one day before the 2008 World Series kicks off and all I can think about is Joe Maddon.  Now, now, dear readers, don’t get ahead of yourselves.  It’s not his cool and assertive demeanor in the dugout that’s got my mind going and it’s not his ability to rile a bunch of youngsters to the tune of victory either. 

It’s his liberal use of the progressive participle.

In the top of the seventh inning in Sunday night’s ALCS Game 7 against the Red Sox, starting Rays pitcher Matt Garza found himself in what could’ve been a serious world of pain.  Having just given up a single to Jason Bay, there were men on first and second with only one out; the Rays were holding on to a slim lead — just one bomb away from imploding — when Maddon went out to talk to his pitcher.

Garza stepped off the mound towards his skipper as if to ask “How am I doing?” and the TBS camera crew caught Maddon dead on replying: “You’ve been ****ing awesome.”

Yeah.  There was no mistaking it.  He used the F-bomb to describe just how awesome Garza hd been doing in front of millions of home viewers. 

And believe me, folks: I’m not wrong on this one.  I study foreign languages for fun, grew up playing spy games, and until I was about 18 years old, I watched peoples’ mouths when they talked instead of their eyes.

Joe Maddon said “You’ve been ****ing awesome.”

Is there anything wrong with this?  Well.  No.  I guess not.  I mean, I’m a grown man myself and assuredly, I have been known to drop quite a few F-bombs when necessary; of course, I’ve never done it live in front of millions of viewers watching my every move on television.  And I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that it certainly distracted me from thinking of Maddon as the intellectual I once thought him to be.

But I guess when “awesome” doesn’t quite get the point across, “****ing awesome” should do the trick.

It worked for Garza.

Will it work against Philadelphia — where the F-bomb was born? 

We shall ****ing see!

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

Breath of Fresh Air

World series 2008 logo.jpgMy only solace in the aftermath of being so, so wrong in my playoff predictions so far is that finally, dear readers, we have a World Series matchup — which doesn’t include the Yankees nor the New Yankees (aka Boston Red Sox) — that may actually drum up viewership across this great US America of ours (and perhaps even a handful in Canada). 

Whilst the 2006 World Series will always stand out as one of the greatest moments of my lifetime to date, I am completely aware that I was one of very few people who actually gave a damn, considering both the Cardinals and the Tigers weren’t big market teams from either coast.  The 2005 edition featuring the White Sox and Astros wasn’t much better in terms of mass viewership nationwide, though it was probably one of the most entertaining and heart-thumping series I’ve ever seen.

Such drama is lost on a nation that worships thwarting monopolizing bullies, NASCAR and blockbuster comedic films starring Ben Stiller as the same haphazard goofball character he plays in every Ben Stiller movie. 

But folks, this could be the year for a new found enthusiasm for the greatest game on earth.  I believe.  For two underdogs with two very unique stories will face each other in the grand finale and though I have been searching my brain for the last 18 hours or so to find the one I want to see win the most, I truly cannot. 

joe maddon 2.jpgThe Rays will have the ultimate story going in (working title: From Worst to First After Dropping the “Devil” from Our Name) and I’m positive that an entire band of bandwagoneers will join the drama just to say they were part of it; and in the end, why not?  How can you not like this team?  They’re young.  They’re enthusiastic.  They play with heart and passion and speed and pride.  And their manager is probably the coolest looking dude in town with those gaudy personality glasses and his “9 = 8” psychomath sensibility. 

Meanwhile, the Phillies — whom my colleague Mr. Krause picked to win it all — come in to the World Series playing superb baseball with their starting pitching and clutch hitting leading the Philadelphia way: hard-nosed, hard-pressed and hard-up for a title.  Never mind their raucous, undeserved phreakazoid phans.  The City of Brotherly Love is as thirsty for a sports championship as the Democrats are for winning an election.  And this could be the year.

But if I have to come out and say it, I say this is the year of the Tampa Bay Rays

Indeed, the Cinderella story will come to its ultimately heartwarming conclusion.  And if that pisses you off, Phillies fans, don’t get too riled up; my prediction accuracy is about as on point as Rush Limbaugh is sane: not very

And for those of you right-wing gun-totin’ liberal-hatin’ conservatives whom I have just offended by saying that, I think there’s at least one thing that we can agree on — no, two things:

1) This World Series is gonna be good.

..and…

2) This clip might very well be the best political spoof the planet has ever seen:

http://widgets.nbc.com/o/4727a250e66f9723/48fd11d4b3d1fde1/48fafb9dab35f5ae/95eeda6a/-cpid/d00853353f9ba73e/clipID/773781/video_title/Saturday+Night+Live+-+Update%3a+Palin+Rap/video_imgurl/http%3a%2f%2fvideo.nbc.com%2fplayer%2fmezzanine%2fimage.php%3fw%3d350%26h%3d196%26path%3dnbc2%2f13b9ce5f032c04210176ab48cd191c3b_mezzn.jpg%26hash%3db270dcf8f4ab9e749b81b1fe205d1989/video_url/http%3a%2f%2fwww.nbc.com%2fSaturday_Night_Live%2fvideo%2fclips%2fupdate-palin-rap%2f773781%2f/video_description/Amy+steps+in+for+Gov.+Palin?storeInPid=true

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

(Don’t) Try THIS at Home!!!

HPIM1668.jpgDear readers, it’s Wednesday and thank the baseball gods I’m finally starting to feel like myself again.  As many of you know, my longtime chum/colleague/nemesis, the Mr. Allen Krause, had the good fortune of spending this past weekend visiting with me here on the Southside of Chicago.  Besides force-feeding him Chicago-style deep-dish pizza, Ann Sathers cinnamon rolls and a steady diet of “go *BLEEP yourself!” expletives, we did manage to reconnect with our younger, more astute college-selves — and by that I mean: we got drunk.

Well, let me just say that it was nothing like before.  No.  Indeed, at a fresh-looking 29 years of age, neither one of us are really apt to handle the physiological hell we used to put ourselves through.  In retrospect, it’s hard to imagine we’re even still alive.  Back in those days, we would party late nights Tuesday through Sunday (Monday was reserved for Monday Night Football and thus rest was required), found time to perform street circus acts and then actually managed to get straight A’s through our respectively rigorous class schedules.

Obviously, those days are long gone.  Still, it’s fun to think about how nimble we once were and in honor of that and tonight’s super-duper lineup of presidential debate politics and National League Championship Series baseball, we at RSBS would like to provide a provocative, playful drinking game for those of you dear readers who are responsible adults over the age of 21 (fake IDs don’t count in the blogosphere either).

It’s simple.  Get yourself a sixer of Old Style or a bottle of Jack or Costco sized container of mouthwash — whatever your preferred poison may be — and every time one of the following occurs, take a drink.  Trust us, between flipping back and forth between the game and the debate and adhering to these rules, you won’t care what the outcome of either actually is… and sometimes, that’s all you really want.

So, every time…

Joe Torre Makes a Face that Says “I Have Indigestion”
Take a drink.

Every time…

John McCain Looks at the Camera and Calls You “My Friend”…
Take a drink.

Every time…

Tim McCarver Over-analyzes a Play, a Player, an Entire Race of People…
Take a drink.

Every time…

John McCain Falsely Accuses Barack Obama of Wanting to Raise Your Taxes…
Take a drink.

Every time…

You Start to Think that RSBS‘ Very Own Allen Krause Looks a lot like a Younger, Less Cool Version of Joe Maddon…
Take a drink.
joe maddon.jpgAllen Krause.jpg

Every time…

The Two Candidates Fail to Answer the Question that was Asked and instead Filibuster their Talking Points…
Take a drink. (are you still with me?)

Every time…

You Wish and Pray that the Elegantly Exquisite and Ever Erudite Erin Andrews was Fox’s Sideline Reporter…
Take a drink. (fyi: this one alone would put me in the hospital)

Every time…

John McCain Refers to Barack Obama as Anything Except His Actual Name (ie That One, The Senator, Dingleberry)…
Take a drink.

Every time…

Shane Victorino Does Something Magical…
Take a drink.

And lastly… if you’re still able to count to three…

Every time…

You Look at Obama and just See a Black Man…
Take a drink.  No, take ten drinks.  And shame on you.

Please drink responsibly.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy