Bud Selig. One of the worst baseball commissioners or the worst? Discuss amongst yourselves. Only a man who has the hubris to continue in his position after the steroid scandal could possibly have given us Monday night’s bizarre reading of the rules. Hey, here’s an idea for you. If the weather is so crappy it’s going to be hard to get the game in and there’s a possibility of a suspension or a shortened game, DON’T PLAY THE F&%$ING GAME! Wait a day. What else is going on in the baseball world that makes it absolutely necessary to play the game that night? And if you have enough authority to circumvent the rules, why not go whole hog and unilaterally postpone the game?
This is the difference between George W. Bush and Bud Selig. They both think they’re “The Decider” but only one of them has the will to actually go through with it. People may not agree with W and his decisions but at least he made them while they still counted. Selig is a poor man’s W, a John McCain, if you will:
And that’s where we stand, dear readers. The World Series and this baseball season could be over this evening. And the election could be over by this time next week (barring any Florida or Ohio based shenanigans). But unlike Bud Selig, we can make a decision and that’s why we’ll still be here for you tomorrow, next week and for as long as it takes.
Two games in and there is no denying that the 2008 World Series is a close one between two teams who are relatively new to the national spotlight. For the most part, the pitching has been excellent, the fundamentals have been executed and scores have been close. But despite Joe Buck’s irritating methodology of forcefully over-dramatizing each and every word, this Phillies/Rays series has been putting me to sleep.
And I swear it’s not the booze this time.
For some intangible reason, I just get the feeling that this World Series is somewhat inherently spurious. Perhaps it’s the fake grass that rubs me the wrong way… or the cheeseball John Williams-like teaser music that makes me feel like dinosaurs will suddenly take the field… or maybe it really is that I’m sick and tired of Joe Buck, who turned his back on his demographic earlier this year and sullied one of the greatest names in the history of the game.
The good news is, I have a mute button; I will use it liberally.
And it’s Friday and Fridays are always awesome. In fact, since it’s Friday and there’s no baseball today and we’re getting down to the wire in all things important (baseball and politics) and I’m feeling good about life and it’s raining but not snowing and Halloween is around the corner and North Korea hasn’t blown anyone up yet, I thought: what better way to celebrate than to enjoy a good old political dance-off:
If that didn’t make your day, nothing will.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
The World Series begins tonight but not without a little controversy. Apparently Barack Obama has broken the cardinal rule of sports fans everywhere and come out in support of both the Phillies and the Rays. It would seem that Mr. Obama doesn’t understand “real” Americans or espouse the values of main street Wasilla, Alaska.
Now as a baseball fan and someone who will be watching the World Series despite the fact that I don’t have a team in the game, I can understand Sen. Obama’s divided sentiments. Ultimately, he said he’ll be cheering for the Phillies because his campaign manager is a Phillies’ fan. If the Cardinals were in the Series against anyone but the Tigers, I’d probably cheer for them too, because I (occasionally) support my friend.
See, when your team isn’t playing, you’re allowed to cheer for whomever. There’s a big difference between Obama attending a rally with some players from the Rays and Bill Richardson saying he likes both the Red Sox and the Yankees. Or Hillary Clinton claiming to be a simultaneous Yankees and Cubs fan. Those things don’t make sense. But I really couldn’t tell you who I’m rooting for in the Series. Both teams are compelling but neither one controls any of my loyalty. I wouldn’t mind seeing the Rays win because they’re young and exciting and they took out the Yankees this season. But, the Phillies are young (with the exception of Jamie Moyer) and exciting, too, and I already predicted that they would win.
So, perhaps we should all just settle down and enjoy what could be some really good baseball. Perhaps it would be a little more compelling if Mr. McCain’s Diamondbacks were taking on Mr. Obama’s White Sox. I’m sure that we here at RSBS would be at Defcon 3 if we had scored a rematch of the 2006 Series. And we all know how much Mr. Lung wishes that Erin Andrews was frollicking about the dugouts. But instead we’ll be starting off this evening at Tropicana Field in an area better known for spring training. However, if that’s not “real” America then what is?
I don’t really like the city of Philadephia. I’ve only been there twice and one of those times only involved landing at the airport before heading to a friend’s place in New Jersey. So, it was weird that I found myself getting excited last night when Jimmy Rollins led off Game 5 with a homerun and hoping that Cole Hamels could protect the lead.
And it all came together as the Philadelphia Obamas won and now head to the World Series. However, I missed most of the game.
The problem is, there’s this other thing going on right now that also ends in the next couple weeks and to be completely honest, it’s a little more important than baseball. The season is longer, the hours more grueling and one mistake can doom your chances (just ask Joe Biden). But it’s just as fascinating. So that’s why I felt I owed it to John and Barack to tune in to their final debate last night. And it was boring as hell.
Somehow I’m all right with that, though. It’s similar to how I remember people talking about the boredom of the 2006 World Series and that didn’t bother me either because my Tigers were in it. And after all the eventfulness of the past eight years (Katrina, Gonzales, simultaneous wars), I think we deserve a little boredom.
Luckily, if I need action, I’ll just head up to New York or tune in to Fox and see who will be representing the AL in the Series. Right now it’s looking like the Huckabees but I still think the McCains might pull it out. And when that happens, I’ll once again find myself strangely cheering for the “City of Brotherly Love.”
Dear readers, it’s Wednesday and thank the baseball gods I’m finally starting to feel like myself again. As many of you know, my longtime chum/colleague/nemesis, the Mr. Allen Krause, had the good fortune of spending this past weekend visiting with me here on the Southside of Chicago. Besides force-feeding him Chicago-style deep-dish pizza, Ann Sathers cinnamon rolls and a steady diet of “go *BLEEP yourself!” expletives, we did manage to reconnect with our younger, more astute college-selves — and by that I mean: we got drunk.
Well, let me just say that it was nothing like before. No. Indeed, at a fresh-looking 29 years of age, neither one of us are really apt to handle the physiological hell we used to put ourselves through. In retrospect, it’s hard to imagine we’re even still alive. Back in those days, we would party late nights Tuesday through Sunday (Monday was reserved for Monday Night Football and thus rest was required), found time to perform street circus acts and then actually managed to get straight A’s through our respectively rigorous class schedules.
Obviously, those days are long gone. Still, it’s fun to think about how nimble we once were and in honor of that and tonight’s super-duper lineup of presidential debate politics and National League Championship Series baseball, we at RSBS would like to provide a provocative, playful drinking game for those of you dear readers who are responsible adults over the age of 21 (fake IDs don’t count in the blogosphere either).
It’s simple. Get yourself a sixer of Old Style or a bottle of Jack or Costco sized container of mouthwash — whatever your preferred poison may be — and every time one of the following occurs, take a drink. Trust us, between flipping back and forth between the game and the debate and adhering to these rules, you won’t care what the outcome of either actually is… and sometimes, that’s all you really want.
So, every time…
Joe Torre Makes a Face that Says “I Have Indigestion”…
Take a drink.
John McCain Looks at the Camera and Calls You “My Friend”…
Take a drink.
Tim McCarver Over-analyzes a Play, a Player, an Entire Race of People…
Take a drink.
John McCain Falsely Accuses Barack Obama of Wanting to Raise Your Taxes…
Take a drink.
The Two Candidates Fail to Answer the Question that was Asked and instead Filibuster their Talking Points…
Take a drink. (are you still with me?)
You Wish and Pray that the Elegantly Exquisite and Ever Erudite Erin Andrews was Fox’s Sideline Reporter…
Take a drink. (fyi: this one alone would put me in the hospital)
John McCain Refers to Barack Obama as Anything Except His Actual Name (ie That One, The Senator, Dingleberry)…
Take a drink.
Shane Victorino Does Something Magical…
Take a drink.
And lastly… if you’re still able to count to three…
You Look at Obama and just See a Black Man…
Take a drink. No, take ten drinks. And shame on you.
Please drink responsibly.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
“You know, nailing down Sen. Obama’s various tax proposals is like nailing Jell-O to the wall.”
— Senator John McCain, October 7, 2008
You know, hearing this line over and over again is like watching that drunk uncle of yours wet himself at the family picnic — you feel sorry for him but at the same time you sorta like the idea of him making a fool of himself.
That being said, let me get to the heart of what’s really bothering me: why must Jell-O, an otherwise innocently delicious treat, be dragged into this foray of US American politics where hubris meets sophism for a night of long, agonizing repetition? Seriously, I want to know: what did Jell-O ever do to deserve such scrutiny? Huh? Can anyone answer me that!?!
Let’s look at the facts, shall we, dear readers? Jell-O. It’s sweet. It’s sticky. It’s jiggly.
It’s best when chilled.
It’s even better with vodka, in shot form.
And now it’s got me thinking…
If Obama’s tax proposals — which will offer we regular US American joes, who DON’T make $250,000 a year, a break while asking the wealthy to pitch in a bit more — is like nailing Jell-O to the wall, then nailing Jell-O to the wall sounds like something we all better learn how to do. Pronto.
I see what the senator from Arizona was trying to do here. He was trying to hide his condescension with a sprinkling of cutesy cleverness. I didn’t buy it. As usual, he came across as an old, bitter man still damaged from W’s vicious assaults during the 2000 campaign who is completely out of touch with normalcy (here, normalcy indicates those millions of individuals who are struggling right now, including me).
Whilst my struggles (financial, social, mental) weigh heavily on my mind right now, luckily, I am still able to find solace during this special time of year: the MLB Playoffs. Sure, the Cards didn’t make it, the White Sox blew it and the Cubs aren’t around to ridicule anymore.
But collectively, we, as US Americans have four fine representatives to distract us for the next couple of weeks and I think we all (Red States, Blue States, Purple States) can agree on that. What’s more exciting than watching the youth movement in Tampa Bay battle the Boston Red Sox (aka The New Yankees)? While I have been off and on with my predictions this season, I’m gonna jump on the Tampa Bay train (as opposed to the Jason Bay train) because let’s face it: we need change we can believe in, folks; and Red Sox fans have proven that no matter how good they are or how many championships they win, they will still have an energy-draining inferiority complex coupled with roughly a bazillion things to complain about.
The Senior Circuit also offers us an intense battle as we prepare to watch the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles fight against ‘dem phightin’ Philadelphia Phillies (Mr. Krause’s pick to click). While I will admit my preference is certainly for the National League style of play, I have a strong feeling that this match-up is going to be a snoozer compared to the AL series.
In fact, I might just go as far as to say that, comparatively speaking, watching the NLCS will be like nailing Jell-O to the wall.
Good pitching always beats good hitting: Tampa Bay v. Dodgers in the finale.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
With baseball’s furlough strikingly apparent this evening, RSBS presents a one-time, not to be missed, special event at 9PM tonight as Allen live-blogs the 2nd Presidential Debate. Now, we won’t promise it will be good. We won’t even promise it will be entertaining or coherent. But it will be live. Join us as we update throughout the evening, right here, after the jump.