One thing that sets the US apart from most of the rest of the world is that when we have a problem, we feel safe in turning to the police and our justice system. Sure, there are instances where that trust is misplaced but in general, if someone is in your house, you call 911 and hope the police show up. Likewise, if someone wrongs you, you believe that when you take them to court a fair and impartial judge will weigh your case on its merit and decide based on the law.
Because we place this level of trust in our justice system, we also have high expectations for its executors both inside and outside their job. If you knew a baseball umpire spent time with a rival manager outside the ballpark, would you feel confident about a close call going your way if he was officiating a matchup between the two of you? Of course not. The same is true of judges. Of course we expect them to be impartial but we also expect them to comport themselves in a manner that affirms this confidence, even outside the courtroom. This is what makes the case of William Adams so disturbing:
Now, in all fairness, I got spanked multiple times when I was growing up. And to be even more fair, I deserved it every time. But when it happened, it was quick, it wasn’t done in anger and the anticipation of the punishment was always much, much worse than the punishment itself. This guy, though? He’s just going off. What does that say about his rationality or his ability to decide a case that makes him emotional?
That’s the thing, isn’t it? No matter how hard we try, actions always speak louder than words. And when the actions directly contradict the words, we take it personally. Eliot Spitzer was forced to resign, not because he had sex with a call-girl, but because he created a law-and-order persona with his words while his actions told us otherwise. We’re capable of saying many wonderful things but ultimately, our actions betray us.
In the end, I find the case of William Adams reassuring. Yes, he let down the people of his county but the court moved to rectify the situation when it became aware of the video. Instead of saying they would look into the issue, they made him step down while investigating. The system still works.
Sad news: only one more day until the world ends, dear readers. Indeed, it’s days like today when I really wish the Mayans knew what the hell they were talkin’ about.
Instead, we all wait in weary anticipation of a 2,000 year old Jewish zombie (they call him “The Jesus”) so he can come down from the skies and act as Judgey McJudges-a-lot.
Ordinarily, I ain’t much of a judgmental person. I let folks be as they be, even if they be crazy. But if The Jesus — a supposed paragon of virtue — is gonna come down and act a judgin’ fool, then I’d like to get in on that action too, just for today.
So here ya go. Let the judging begin!
Yankees fans, I’m judging you. You lost six measly games in a row and suddenly the sky is falling?! When my Cubs fans friends (yes, I have a few) watch their team lose six games in a row they call it “April”. And don’t even get me started on M’s fans or Pirates fans… jeesh.
Mitt Romney, I’m judging you. Come on, dude. How can you pass universal healthcare in your state and still call yourself a Republican?!? Not only that, but how am I supposed to take you seriously when you believe in a book that was “translated” by a whackjob “aided” by an invisible bearded man in the sky?
National Football League… oh yes, I’m judgin’ the hell out of you. Didn’t you learn ANYTHING from baseball?!?! Good grief! Don’t you know that the strike of ’94 nearly KILLED the national pastime? You may benefit from having less intelligent constituents, but even the ignorant have a hard time forgiving betrayal. Just ask Whitney Houston.
Donald Trump, I’m judging you. The birther thing, well, I can see past that. But your hair. Seriously. It’s not funny anymore. It’s disturbing. I’m sure there’s a crime being committed there.
And finally, as we prepare to say ‘see ya’ to the cosmos…
MLB throwback uniforms, I’m judging you. If we’re gonna bring back the baby blue road duds… if we’re gonna bring back the Oakland puke yellow tops… if we’re gonna bring all this stuff from the 70s and 80s back in earnest, then we need to stop making them in the baggy size. Everyone in his/her right mind knows that those only work if we can see some protruding jock action.
Hate me ‘cuz it’s Thursday, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
And so in this Podcast…
Allen: “If somebody’s willing to pay you the money, then that’s what you’re worth.”
Jeff: “I make magic happen…”
Johanna: “Chapped sack.”
Of course, that’s just the beginning… there’s also punching Mrs. Johanna’s dad and spending a night in jail, Judge Judy putting Yankees to shame, Oh-No-Farnsworth, the Lou Piniella Mailbag and much, much more… bringin’ great big laughs to those bellies yo!
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*Special thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and all-around sound guru. If you like baseball, wanna learn about the Negro Leagues and would like to know more about stuff that is awesome, check out his Undercast podcast. He’s an MMA fighter too. So listen or he’ll beat you up. Visit Undercard Films!
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Recorded Saturday, August 14, 2010
For the Matt Drudges, Satanic She-Worms and Jabba the Huts of the world, President Obama’s controversial decision to seat an inexperienced left-leanin’ lawyer to the world’s highest court is not going too well. Indeed, dear readers, the rip-roarin’ has already commenced with character-bashing slander at the ready: “she has no experience!”… “she’s part of the Chicago machine!”… “She’s ugly! You sure that ain’t Gary Dell’abate!?!”
I am not sure that she is not Gary Dell’abate.
She has no experience. So what? Does she have what it takes? Does she have the balls to — wait, never mind.
As is the case with baseball, experience doesn’t always guarantee success.
Mike Leake never pitched a game in the minors and yet he has a record of 3-0 right now, one of those wins coming against the sCrUBS (which nets him extra points ‘cuz I say so).
Don Denkinger never had any experience being completely retarded for one single World Series play yet he managed to get the job done in 1985.
And let me remind you of a fella who didn’t have any managerial experience whatsoever: a man, who as a player achieved a lifetime batting average of .219 with 32 homers and 112 RBI. That man’s name is A.J. Hinch and that man manages the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Arizona Diamonbacks are… um… the D’backs are…
Pay no attention.
We’re all in this US American mess together.
Hate me ‘cuz it’s trendy, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.