General Motors is busted.
My dignity (whatever there was of it) is also busted.
And in case you haven’t noticed, the 2009 Washington Nationals are most definitely busted.
Now I realize that it has become cliché hack to go after the lowly Natinals and all their shame — that by marauding these lesser-known squibs I am just one of many basement-confined jokesters, another savvyless cheapshotateer who gets off on landing lowblows wherever I can.
But that’s me.
‘Cuz when you’re bad, you’re bad; and the Washington Nationals are beyond bad.
With a sub-stellar 13-36 record as of the first of June, touting a team ERA of 5.69 and Kip Wells in the bullpen, I think it is time we US Americans seriously consider showing the Washington Nationals a big-time government bailout.
Because if Julian Tavarez can’t save the Nationals, then who in the world can?
GM made crappy cars. For years, GM didn’t listen to its consumers. Simply put, GM didn’t care. They were/are insane: doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. And now GM is virtually as obsolete as their “planned obsolescence” business model: an absolute example of eating your own s*** and dying a terrible death.
Luckily, there is still hope for the Washington Nationals, albeit grim. Despite fielding a beer-league softball team, they are averaging about 21,000 people per game. And even if half of those fans are wearing the visiting teams’ duds, that money is still green.
If the government knows anything, it knows how to take money from everyday Joes like us and spend it irresponsibly. So, save the franchise, Capitol Hill! I don’t care about GM, but I do care about about the
Montreal Expos Washington Nationals and they deserve my tax dollars because let’s face it, Adam Dunn has gotta eat (a lot).
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
(GM Image courtesy of the Cleveland Leader)