Tagged: Kirk Gibson

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 30: Pat Matheny’s Anesthesioxity and Other Stuff (LIKE HIGHLIGHTS!)

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And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

The RSBS crew celebrates its 30th episode by taking a stroll down podcast memory lane, remembering things that busted our (and hopefully your) guts.  AIDS salad and Ron Santo’s memory get rehashed while new memories (like gay ponies v. horsicorns, an iguana named Dudley and how you can cure your foot problems) are created!  Jump on board the RSBS crazy train!  No stops til you question how you spend your free time!

Don’t forget to getcho Crown Royal and enjoy some happy time!

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*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter for all his movie magic updates and make sure to check out his crew and their hilariousness on the Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, November 26, 2011

RSBS Digest: Real Men

As a result of some recent trends in male hygiene including facials, manicures and waxing and due to the ability of some well-known male artists like Justin Bieber to call the entire idea of masculinity into question, many pundits of different creeds, colors and class have tried to reclaim the idea of manhood.  This reclamation seems to center on the Paleo movement, wilderness retreats and a new found appreciation for beards.  However, I question the basic premise.

Yes, there are disturbing trends.  For instance, Mark Sanchez:

But is that really any different than this?

Well, as a matter of fact, yes.  It doesn’t matter what Sean Connery is wearing.  Even if he was getting a cucumber facial while a small Vietnamese woman applied wax to his nether regions, Sean Connery is still James Bond.  And he’s a man who may get photographed wearing a wedding dress but could also make this little number his b**ch:

The problem is not so much a lack of manhood.  It’s just that for every Daniel Craig, we have two or three Ashton Kutchers.  That’s not a good ratio.

There’s probably not a whole lot we can do, though.  The death knell sounded the day we went from this:

to this:

It always comes back to A-Rod.

-A

Good Vibrations

Baseball, as any fan can tell you, is a game of amazing highs and unthinkable lows.  For every Kirk Gibson fistpump around the bases in the World Series there’s an Ugandan little league team that didn’t qualify for visas to the LL World Series.  Which means there’s no sense in wasting time worrying about the bad stuff.  It’s much more important to make the most of the good stuff.  If there’s one man in baseball who embodies that spirit, it’s Brian Wilson.

Now, I understand that not everyone likes Wilson.  However I find the guy hilarious.  His sea captain routine on the Jimmy Kimmell show was a brilliant piece of performance art.  Honestly, he is to baseball what Lady Gaga wishes she was to music.  If that was ever in doubt you need only refer to the Espy’s:

Even more than that, though, an interview he did with Cheap Seats cemented his status for me:

But like other Brian Wilsons before him, I think it makes more sense to let the guy express his thoughts using his own words.  What do you say to that, Brian? “I’m a professional baseball player in my 20′s. I’m not gonna speak monotone then wake up, be 35 and the games over and I didn’t have any fun.”  Amen.

-A

Whittemore, Washington and Darwin

Survival of the fittest drives natural selection.  The mechanisms evolved decide whether your particular branch of a species flourishes or fails.  Over the years, this has led to mimicry in butterflies, symbiosis between birds and crocodiles and Kirk Gibson.  However, humanity has done itself a disservice in the past decade in its continued attempt to thwart survival of the fittest.

At the birth of our nation, we had this:

samuel_whittemore.jpgToday, we have this:

http://embed.break.com/MTk4NDY3Mw==

And just in case the story couldn’t get more bizarre, the woman in the video is now suing the mall

I’m pretty sure Samuel Whittemore didn’t sue the British soldiers who bayoneted him.  In fact, I’m betting he slapped on a few bandages before hopping on a velociraptor to go help his buddy, George Washington.

washington_trex.jpgHey, it’s history.  And survival of the fittest.

-A

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 17: The Lifestyles Hall of Fame Hot Tub Special… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 5.jpg

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And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

The Hall of Fame, PEDs and the suggested fondness of Phil Rogers is all it takes to get Jeff and Johanna attempting to kill each other.  Allen probably wished at least one of them would have succeeded… but you’ll have to decide for yourself as the fellas discuss all things controversial and racy (almost like ‘sexy’ but less sexual).  Keith Hernandez gets a mention.  And the Kirk Gibson story… well ya need to just hear it… all to make you Sir or Madame Smilesalot!

Holla!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

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*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  You can experience Keith’s wicked podcast and subsequent film projects at  Undercard Films.  Keith is a hot topic right now!  Not only is he filming that cool baseball doc, but now he’s got some commercial gigs from the Undercast, so go check it out!

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Recorded Saturday, January 8, 2011

 

Coming to Terms with the sCrUBS

hot cubs chick 3.jpgAs a Cardinals fan living in the Chi, the baseball season never really begins for me until St. Louis comes to town and I get my first taste of blood as I camp out at Wrigley for a weekend.  Black eyes, sprained ankles, hoarse voice… all welcome reminders of just how deep (and serious) this rivalry can be.

But the older I get, the clearer I see, which is why I can say with brutal honesty that the Chicago Cubs are the absolute best rival a fan could ask for.

Yep.  That’s right.  They’re the best.  Because they don’t… win… championships.

Think about it.  Yankees fans, remember how awful you felt when the Red Sox overcame in 2004?  And what about having to watch Papelbon’s antics during the 2007 run?  Reverse that and imagine the utter malcontent suffered by the Red Sox for eons while the Yankees ran up the World Series trophy count.

Giants fans must’ve been sick watching Kirk Gibson’s shot in 1988.  And likewise, those Dodgers fans who saw Willie Mays’ catch seal the deal in 1954 couldn’t have been too happy.

hot cubs chick 2.jpgAnd don’t even get me started on the Mets/Phillies rivalry.  Talk about carnage… wow.

But we Cardinals fans… seriously, what the hell do we have to be sick about?  We have the best player in baseball, we have arguably the best manager in baseball, and our arch rivals haven’t won jack scheisse in over 100 years.

With that in mind, as I prepare for the annual battle that is Cubs v. Cards, this year I’m gonna focus on the fact that this rivalry is a lame duck rivalry — that I can be confident my team will be better.  Therefore I am going to focus on the visual pleasantries that (surprisingly) can be found in abundance at the Friendly Confines.

Y’feel me?

Good.

Now, wish me luck.

Hate me ‘cuz I try to see all the angles, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Happy Friday!

Jeff

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These Aren’t the Tigers You’re Looking For

fake tigers.jpgThe Detroit Tigers may have signed Johnny Damon, but I am here to remind all Ye Olde English “D” apologists: on this team you will find no Denny McLain.

On this team, there is no Al Kaline.  There is no Kirk Gibson.  No Jack Morris, no Trammell, no Whitaker.

Heck, this ain’t even the ultimately disappointing club that was supposed to win the 2006 World Series.  No, sir.  That squad is now but a bitter memory… and after a series of motor city slips and gaffes including but not limited to Jurrens for Renteria, the brutal rape of their farm system by the merciless Florida Marlins, and a handful of awful contracts best represented by Nate Robertson and Dontrelle Willis, the 2010 Detroit Tigers seem to be more of the weak, purring variety than anything else.

And now that fan favorite Curtis Granderson has been kicked out of the cage, finding fault with this Dave Dombrowski mess is a lot easier than it used to be.

You have Jim Leyland?  Yes, and you also have Jim Leyland cut off from nicotine.

You have athlete extraordinaire, Brandon Inge?  Yes, and you also have his strikeouts.

You have Johnny Damon?  Yes, but you overpaid… and did he come with his wheelchair?

I dunno.  It’s not like I hate the Tigers or anything.  I mean, I have nothing personal against Detroit save hearing about them ad nauseum via my cantankerous and oft negligent colleague Mr. Allen Krause; but that doesn’t affect my judgment.  I simply report the facts, interpreted in my own special way.

And that special way offers this declaration: the Tigers are in for a world of hurt in 2010.

But shhhh.  Don’t tell Al.  Or Johnny Damon. Or Detroiters, all three or four of them.

And whatever you do, please don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

PS. If you think I offer something like this just to p!ss off RSBS‘ other half, then you are absolutely correct… and almost as diabolically undercutting as I.

*fist bump*