In the most recent MLBlogosphere Latest Leaders, one particular blog jumped out at me. Ross Ohlendorf of the Pittsburgh Pirates is writing a blog based on his experience working at the US Department of Agriculture during the offseason. This started me thinking about which athletes are the most intelligent, at least in the traditional, intellectual sense.
For instance, Ohlendorf went to Princeton and is now doing research with the USDA but when you offset his intelligence with that of Rickey Henderson, well, at best they cancel each other out. Offensive linemen in football, and especially centers, are noted for their intelligence despite the head knocking they do all day long. As for basketball and hockey, I really have no clue and I won’t even hazard a guess.
However, based on zero scientific proof and nothing more than my incredibly suspect intuition, I’m going to say golfers are probably the smartest. Despite Tiger’s recent personal flameout and John Daly’s entire career, golfers are smart enough to play a sport that doesn’t involve getting hit on a regular basis. They walk a lot and exercise like that is good for the mind and body. If that wasn’t enough, they can also continue playing well into their later years, bouncing from circuit to circuit as need be. That seems pretty intelligent to me.
But I also have to say that bowlers might be on to something. I mean, practice involves hitting the lanes and rolling some balls. And everyone knows you can’t go bowling without at least a pitcher or two of whatever happens to be on tap. All I know is that pretty much anything beats the heck out of driving in circles for hours and never knowing when some guy might ram you at 225 miles per hour. Or, for that matter, working at the USDA.
Apparently my heartfelt tribute to the Cardinals rang hollow in some quarters of the interwebs. And it hurts me to see that while I am on vacation I have to check in to see such vitriol pointed in my general direction. So, because I want to be the bigger man, I decided to write another little ode to the Cardinals. However, this time I will do it in limerick form.
Albert: Another grand slam
McGwire: A forgotten man
Why keep on pitchin’
When Pujols is itchin’
And balls just wind up in the stands?
Is that better, Mr. Lung? Are we square now? Or do you plan to continue denigrating my good faith efforts?
At least there is one thing we can agree on. We may not be number one but it still feels pretty good to be number two. Actually, that just sounds wrong.
One of the wonderful things about the interwebs is how they allow us to time travel. Well, into the past at least. Which really isn’t time travel at all. Anyway, what I’m really trying to say is that I want to go back to a post that my friend Mr. Lung put up last week. Now, I can rally behind the Thanksgiving and giving thanks sentiments included in the entry but I have to take issue with the picture he included. It’s not that I dislike the picture. In fact, I think it’s adorable. Rather, the problem is that it is a complete misrepresentation of the two of us.
Check that. It’s not so much a misrepresentation as it is a mislabeling. See, on the most basic, phenomenal (in the Kantian sense) level, Jeff is shorter than I am. A lot shorter. I don’t mean any disrespect by this but it’s true. I am several inches taller than my friend and any graphic representation of the two of us should reflect this fact. Also, I don’t wear lipstick but Jeff has been known to sell Mary Kay products to supplement his income. So, there’s that.
However, there is one thing out there that is not misrepresentational and that is the new latest leaders up on the MLBlogs website. I have to tell you, it’s pretty amazing that you all have managed to keep us in the top five for months on end, especially considering how much we’ve been slacking as of late. But, it just goes to show that there ain’t no party like an RSBS party because an RSBS party don’t quit. Except for on major holidays. Thank you for indulging us and we hope to see you back here soon.
It’s Friday and I’m feeling kind of lazy but I wanted to point out that the Latest Leaders are out and you’ve even managed to humble Jeff by keeping us #1 among the fan blogs. I’m not exactly sure why you keep coming back but I’m assuming it has something to do with us bringing you things like this:
Wait a minute. Is it just me or is that Miss Teen South Carolina running for Vice President of the United States? It’s almost like someone took the intellect of Ricky Henderson and mixed it with the temperament of Ty Cobb. It’s like….it’s like…..well, I guess it’s kind of like this:
Oh Jeebus, we’re all gonna’ die.