And so in this Podcast…
Jeff, Allen and Johanna vehemently compare and critique Croc-based lifestyles, which (surprisingly) include but are not limited to the many labels of Josh Hamilton (including those who are scantily clad), Derek Jeter’s inner Pete Rose, Jeff’s go-to-Gehrig impression, Ozzie Guillen’s mess-mouth and much, much more… all so you can at least laugh while you waste some valuable time!!! Go ahead, laugh it up, fuzzball!
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*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Keith is involved in some impressive projects himself. Check out his work at Undercard Films. Seriously. Do it. Or I’ll have Prince Fielder sit on your face.
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Recorded Saturday, October 30, 2010
Records are a huge part of baseball. When a player comes along and makes an all out assault on a record previously though impregnable, we all take notice. Did anyone 20 years ago think that Gehrig’s consecutive game streak would ever be broken? But then along comes Ripken. Same thing the summer of ’98 when Sosa and McGwire went back and forth on their way to shattering Maris’ record.
Sometimes, though, I prefer just focusing on the record makers instead of the record breakers. Take a look and I think you’ll agree.
This is exactly why I didn’t want to like Jay-Z’s new album, The Blueprint 3. As the resident Brett Favre of the rap game, Jay-Z has taunted us with his multiple “retirements”, all along gradually stepping away from his street-centric roots and engaging in the bling-bling-I-got-hoes-money-and-fame garbage that has destroyed my ability to find any entertainment value in modern hip-hop.
But Alicia Keys sucked me; and as much as I hate to admit it: Empire State of Mind is a killer track.
Still, there is one Jay-Z line that makes me cringe with disgust:
s*** I made the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can…”
Ever heard of a fella by the name of Babe Ruth? How about DiMaggio? Gehrig? Mantle? Mattingly? Jeter?
I know Jay-Z is a lot like me in that sometimes he says dumb s*** just to say it, to see what kind of reaction he gets, to be relevant, to stir up trouble.
But even I have limitations… and dissing some of the greatest players to ever play the game is certainly among them.
Shame on you, Jay-Z.
And unless you can find a way to put Alicia Keys on every song you ever do from now until the end of time, you won’t be getting my money ever again.
Hate me ‘cuz I gotz some street cred of my own, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Do yourself a favor and read this term paper (click on the image to zoom in).
Among the things I did not know:
- Oedipus’ mother aborted a kitten in a Denver Denny’s toilet
- Oedipus had a ‘benzo’ and enjoyed busting caps in ‘flagrants of the under city’
- Oedipus loved the New York Yankees
Remember: revisionist history does have its place among the learned elite. And this may be the most epic retelling of Oedipus’ torturous life EVER.
Let us hope that the sacred annals of time are corrected accordingly.
Hate me ‘cuz I fight for the truth, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
(Special thanks to Skull Swap for the lead)
Fear not, my dear and trusted readers, for I also feel the sentiment of pain and worry caused by Mr. Krause’s latest right-field reclamation. While it is common for seedy men in prominent positions of power to manipulate their stances on a particular subject in order to woo the masses, this one goes far and beyond being just a simple cause for alarm.
One minute Mr. Krause is doling out his undying hatred for the “evil” Yankees; the next he’s praising New York’s golden boy, Derek Jeter (nice work on catching Lou Gehrig, by the way). And the worst part about it? He substantiates his softness by claiming the “Kalamazoo” connection.
To get to the heart of this conspiracy, the RSBS interns and I have toiled hard to unlock the mystery of Mr. Krause’s secrecy. So just go with me here…
Kalamazoo. While this is the city where Mr. Krause and I first met and became friends, this is also close to the home of a minor league baseball team: the West Michigan Whitecaps, affiliate of the Detroit Tigers.
Tigers. This is the team Mr. Krause supposedly loves. This is the team that was defeated by the St. Louis Cardinals in the 2006 World Series. This is the team synonymous with backwoods alcoholic racists. This is the team that lost 119 games in 2003.
119. If you add up the individual digits of this atrocious number, you will get 11. The word “eleven” has six letters in it, three of them “e”s, eerily akin to the word “seethe”!
Seethe. If anyone has the ability to foam at the mouth from agitation, it is Mr. Krause. Some would even call him a shape-shifter — like he showed us in his last video, which proved he has a special place in his heart for Colby Rasmus (and cross-dressing).
Colby Rasmus/Cross-Dressing. Only in Mr. Krause’s world does this combination sound like a great way to spend a Friday night. And Al loves Fridays.
Fridays. If you are a woman and you go on a date with Mr. Krause, this is where you will go. This is Al’s place to spend big. Pay special attention to his overbearing recommendations of anything and everything from the “Jack Daniel’s Grill” menu. Al loves him some Jack Daniel’s.
Jack Daniel’s. This is the only key you need to unlock Mr. Krause’s mind.
Mr. Krause’s Mind. Der-ek Je-ter *clap-clap-clap-clap-clap*… Der-ek Je-ter *clap-clap-clap-clap-clap*… Der-ek Je-ter *clap-clap-clap-clap-clap*
Yes, folks, that is what Al was trying to say.
He loves Derek Jeter.
And if Ozzie Guillen can kiss a dude then I have absolutely no problem with Al lovin’ on Jeet. Just come out and say it; and don’t blame it on geography.
Hate me ‘cuz I pull back the layers, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
It’s official. Joe Biden will be Barack Obama’s running mate for the 2008 presidential election. I’m okay with it. Really. I am.
I only hope that this duo will be reminiscent of the one-two punch of Schilling and Johnson who took it all the way in 2001.
I only hope that this duo will look more like Gehrig and Ruth on the field rather than Gehrig and Ruth off the field.
I only hope that this duo has enough to beat the critics and become the mighty force that Big Papi and Manny Ramirez became in Boston.
Will Biden being Biden become the hottest new catchphrase of 2008? While my hopes against that happening remain high, I would be a liar if I didn’t admit my anxiety that Biden may demand a trade at the very last minute.
Hold on to your seats, folks, dear readers, my fellow US Americans…
We’re just gettin’ started.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.