Tagged: Marlins

Respect the Distance and Marlins President, David Samson

On Saturday, I ran 50 miles at the Ice Age Trail 50 Mile Ultramarathon.

It was the hardest physical challenge I’ve put myself through yet.  At times I was ecstatic, at others, on the verge of insanity, and everything in between.

Not wanting to further overuse the “life is a marthon” metaphor, I did a quick search of the interwebs to find a connection between ultramarathoning and baseball, and, to my surprise, I found out that Miami Marlins president, David Samson, completed at 52.4 ultramarathon on April 27, 2012, as a fundraiser for the workers who built the new park.  Over $550,000 was raised and dontated to over 10 different charities.

WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS?

Why was this not reported by anyone?  Why was this not on MLB Tonight?  Why was this not front page news?

Running a marathon is hard.  Running 50 miles is beyond hard.  And now that I know how it feels myself, I can’t help but tip my cap to David Samson and the struggle he went through on behalf of his employees.

Now, if only he could get Ozzie Guillen to shut his trap.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

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If you’d like to know more about my race experience, check out my running blog, The Run Factory, where I’ll post a detailed race report within the next day or so.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Technically the Cold War ended in 1991 when the Soviet Union finally fell apart.  However, the war has stayed pretty chilly down in the Caribbean where the US and Cuba continue to party like it’s 1969.  As a reminder of how chilly things remain, just take a look at the recent blizzard that blew through Miami when Ozzie Guillen made the mistake of declaring his love for Fidel Castro.  But then a funny thing happened.  Sure, Ozzie got a five-game suspension, and yeah, plenty of people got pissed off, but no one tried to kill him and people are still going to Marlins’ games.  The times, they are a-changin‘.

On the other side of the world, things are changing as well.  Previously the province of rappers, drunk investment bankers and Joba Chamberlain, “making it rain” has been taken to entirely new levels on the Arabian peninsula:

[youtube http://youtu.be/LD0ncYoVp_c]

Frosty in Florida, rainy in the desert?  Looks like climate change is more widespread than we originally thought.

-A

The Filibuster

Is the hype to be believed?  Could the Nationals actually contend this year?

Sawyer
Ballston, VA
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Sexy superlatives and arduous absolutes, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your 2012 Washington Nationals!

Could they actually contend?  Hmm… does watching a pitcher’s duel strike me with uncontainable bonerjamz?  HELL to the YES, my friend!  There are 159 games left in the season, and the Nats could win ’em all!

Or not.  Still, this is not your embarrassing Expo leftover Natinal squad of old; rather, this is a team with bona fide pitching, timely bats and a revered sage at the helm!  Do you think Davey Johnson thinks they can contend?  I’d bet my 1986 eight-ball wrapper collection he does.

And why not?  Without Howard and Utley for a good stretch, the Phillies find themselves offensively challenged.  The Braves, still salty from their epic fail of 2011, certainly don’t have all the answers.  I’m not convinced the Marlins are really any better than they were before they decided to blind us with ugly and the Mets are the Mets (though don’t sleep on them either, as a .500 season is not entirely out of the question).

The truth is, the NL East isn’t as predictable as it used to be.  And the addition of another wild card team makes it possible to hope a little longer.

But the number one reason why the Natinals have a legitimate shot at competing for a playoff spot this year is… The ONE.

Okay, wrong ONE.  But believe me, to Stephen Strasburg, there is no spoon.  Also taking the red pill this year are Gio Gonzalez, Jordan Zimmermann, Edwin Jackson, Ross Detwiler and (presumably) John Lannan.  That’s one helluva starting rotation+.

When Bryce Harper eventually finds his way into the rabbit hole, there will be even MORE reason to respect the potential of the Washington Nationals (not to mention a tomfoolery fodder spike for Deadspin).

Would I put big money on the Nats now?  Maybe not.  Would I put money on them to be a cellar dweller?  Absolutely not.  This team could find its identity and they could do it as soon as now.  They could be the ’11 D’backs or the ’08 Rays.

Better yet, they could be the 2012 Nationals. (see what I did there?)

Hate me ‘cuz I love Stephen Strasburg as if he were one of my own, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

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The Filibuster

Dear RSBS Linguistics Dept.,

How the hell do you pronounce Mike Stanton’s new name?  Is it “Gee-an-carlo” or “Jon-carlo”?  I’m going to keep pronouncing it “Mike”.

Jonestein
(pronounced “Joan-steen”)
Fort Worth, TX
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Being a nation of immigrants means that US phone books are full of many sometimes unusual names.  Some of my favorites include Christian Okoye, the KC Chiefs’ Nigerian Nightmare; Juan Pierre, who can’t seem to decide if he’s French or Spanish; and, of course, Barack Obama.  Unless you’re a modern-day Nativist, like the un-ironically Catholic Newt Gingrich, you realize that this inflow of names, traditions and cultures makes our country a more interesting place.

That makes me wonder how a guy like Stanton got tagged with the name “Mike” in the first place.  He was drafted by the Marlins, a team based in south Florida where there is no shortage of hispanic first or last names, out of southern California where the same holds true.  So how, in either of those environments, does a guy like Stanton get forced into assuming a name he has never used?

I find it even more interesting that I’m answering this question the day after St. Patrick’s Day as the Irish were undoubtedly one of the primary targets of mid-19th Century Nativism in the US.  Part of it was poverty, part of it was religion.  But all of it was xenophobic.  150 years later, not only are people with Irish last names found everywhere in the United States, we also dedicate a day to them each year on March 17th.

True, sometimes this influx of last names from all corners of the earth leads to problems.  For instance, I’m not really sure how Keith Jackson would handle a name like Ndamukong Suh.  But athletes, just like any other American, have the right to use and be called by their real name.  Sure, it might get mispronounced from time to time but I think that if the tables were turned and it was any Tom, Dick or Harry arriving in another country, they’d still rather be called by their own name.  Hell, sometimes it even works out in your favor.  My last name often gets mispronounced as “Cruise,” which leads to getting asked if I’m related to Tom.  I just smile, give a non-committal answer and let them keep pronouncing it however they want.

-A

P.S. I’m pretty sure he’ll respond to either pronunciation.  I’d just avoid using Mike.

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Setting the Mahmud

RSBS Special Correspondent and Ryan Braun Beef Injector, Mr. Johanna Mahmud reports:

Things to Do in Miami When You’re Dead

Just one week ago I wrote about all the good the Marlins are doing. It’s been an interesting week since then. I baked. I strung lights. I went sledding in my neighbor’s bathtub (she may or may not know this). I made a gingerbread house. I have Christmas fever!! And it’s Big Cat week!!  But wait, there more!

I’m also slightly sore from the waist down since my man Aramis Ramirez is leaving the Cubs, but I’m not in the same stratosphere compared to what Jeffy is going through with Alberto de la Pujols. But that’s not why I called.

See, my father lives in the Miami metro area. He slipped me a story that’s been going on down there, one that hasn’t been reported too much here and it details the mess the Miami Marlins have created with the locals involving their new stadium. Check it out from the Herald.

And *this one* too!

Apparently all isn’t so sunny in Dade County regarding the tax payers who paid for the stadium. And the Marlins are BANKING ON FILLING THE HOUSE. Way to piss everyone off before DAY FREAKING ONE.

Will owners ever learn? They can tell you they put on pants the same way you do, with the whole putting one leg in at a time, but they probably just lay on shag carpets and have the butler put them on for them. I know this because my iguana, Dudley, does this for me every morning (despite his violent protests).

The Marlins couldn’t come close to half capacity, even winning it all twice.  Now this?

Again Vice City proves just how douchey a place it really is. Other than visiting my father and my two stripper friends Leviticus and Deuteronomy, you can keep it. I have enough Crockett and Tubbs in my life. Just when I thought the new look Marlins were doing things the right way they go and screw the locals.

WOW.

But I gave Dad some advice for when they tax him again: “The problems of the world won’t be solved by love alone. You need the opposite of love too… and by ‘opposite’ I mean Scientology.”

And… “Life is like a mustard burp, momentarily tangy and then forgotten in the air.”

–Johanna Mahmud
Follow Johanna on Twitter!

Setting the Mahmud

RSBS Special Correspondent and bonafide LOLstro lover, Mr. Johanna Mahmud reports:

“Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.”

There are three things I can never remember: the first is people’s names. The second is… is…

Anyway, I know I love me some hot stove! I’m making my yearly pantsless expedition to the wonderful world of MLB offseason rumors and conjecture! I’m even careening into mailboxes on my bike because of the madness!! I have puppies and chimps in my kitchen and we put on plays about how free agent negotiations “go down”. It’s like a Japanese game show. You never know who’s going to get eaten!

I put my head in the oven to inspire me during the season until hot stove time.. I NEED PLAYER MOVEMENT! Hot stove… FIRE FIRE FIRE!!!

So far Miami is the big mover/shaker, but who will be next?

For years they’ve employed unreal drafting strategies, worked on the cheap, biding their time while the super powers outspend each other. But now… THE SUM OF ALL FEARS.

Russia, China and America (Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs) have initiated the snap count for a Red Alert nuclear attack but ended up killing themselves fighting each other whilst brilliant strategery is quietly coming together in south Florida.  They have a new stadium, new digs, new manager, new closer and now Jojo Reyes. Will Reyes and Pujols share casserole recipes? REMEMBER: don’t share with Hanley! He’s already good on the whole putting on muscle mass thing.

But as much as the Marlins (and possibly the Cubs?) are pushing for Albert, I think he’s staying home in the Lou. By the way, I’d rather go toe to toe with a mountain lion mother protecting her cubs then go through another Aldopho Soriano situation if the Cubs sign Pujols for nine years and he looks like he’s 48 after just two of them. And brother Jeffy will be singing this for days when that happens…

If my beloved Cubs can swing a reasonable deal for Prince Fielder though, I’m beyond down. I’ll do anything — shine shoes, wait tables, blow… glass.

But in the case that neither Senor Jeffy or I  get our wishes, you will probably read someday of an infamous double Groundhog Day beheading.

–Johanna Mahmud
Follow Johanna on Twitter!

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 29: Remembering Ugueth’s Urbina and Other Stuff

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

Jeff tries his darnedest to be as polite as possible during his unfettered gloating of World Championship status (Go Cards!) while Second City’s Mark Piebenga adds some level-headed awesomeness to Johanna’s outlandishness and Allen’s seasoned straight man routine.  Among the topics of discussion are “the greatest game ever”, the woes of rebranding an already twice championed franchise (talkin’ to you, Marlins), Theo Fever in the Chi, b!tch t!ts and much, much more!

Now grab some Crown Royal and enjoy yo’ self!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

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*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter and make sure to check out his crew and their gut busting Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, November 12, 2011