That was bad for our health, man. That was one awful, no good, TERRIBLE World Series… unless you’re a Giants fan, of course. No lead changes til boring Game 4. Hitting juggernauts (one wearing three crowns) silenced throughout by the likes of Zito and Vogelsong. Justin Verlander s*%@ing the bed.
We just got a good dose of why football rules ‘Merica.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
(Image courtesy of B3TA)
The names were different, yes, but the destruction was equally devastating. Maybe even more.
I’m talking about the EPIC FAIL that was the 2012 NLCS, compared to the one that first stopped by heart 16 years ago. Yes, in 1996 it was Todd Stottlemyre in the role of Lance Lynn, with Andy Benes as Chris Carpenter and Donavon Osborne as Kyle “I Ain’t A Big Game Pitcher” Lohse.
It was Ozzie’s last year, Tony’s first and the first time back to the World Series since 1987 and the uncomfortable early 90’s era Redbirds… or so I thought.
Up three games to one in the best of seven series against the Atlanta Braves, the jockstraps came off a team that simply couldn’t score any runs; and instead of spending the last days of October in complete ecstasy, the 17-year old me stayed locked away in a dark closet, reading Nietzsche by a flashlight, ultimately coming back to the same redundant question: WHAT… IS… THE POINT?
I still don’t know. What is the point? Why get so worked up over something so silly? I wish I knew. And, for RSBS‘ sake, I sure hope Mr. Krause doesn’t have to find out. Not this year. So yeah, um… go Tigers.
Also, Marco Scutaro is my Toby Flenderson.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Allen’s Tigers are in the Series and the Cardinals are still trying to earn their bid. If the Cards don’t make it, will you cheer for the Tigers?
Hold it right there, Ms. Anne from Fort Royal. Are you insinuating that the Cardinals might not make it to the World Series? SHAME. SHAME! SHAME!!!
Oh the possibility does bring fear into my being, but THIS… IS… WAR!!!
I can not even begin to envision a Cardinals-less World Series, so to postulate me possibly rooting on THE ENEMY seems as blasphemous as using the Paul Ryan marathon calculator to report my times to my peers!
Will I root for the Tigers? Pssh. Will I also cut out my own stomach with a butter knife and eat it whole? Will I also canvas door-to-door for the Republican party thumping a bible in people’s faces? Will I eat at the Olive Garden?
Hell. To the NO.
My only focus right now is TONIGHT. In San Francisco.
This. Means. War.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
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Whether we’re talking about getting drunk and hitting the Taco Bell drive-thru at 4 a.m. or the state of my phone after a fast-movin’ night at the Roxbury, this much is known: things blow up.
This much is ALSO known: nothing blows up quite like the internet. I had a front row seat to the Twittersphere when Michael Jackson died (for real that time) and was amazed at how far-reaching this convoluted series of tubes really is.
And, as my melancholy and oft addled colleague Mr. Krause recently pointed out: proper internet explosions get a lot of fuel from fumbling politicians intent on keeping their multiple wives inside the three-ring trappings of a Trapper Keeper.
But the REAL explosion has yet to come. Hopefully, it will come tonight — Friday night. Hopefully the Cardinals will wrap up the San Francisco Giants’ futile efforts, kick back and wait for those cute little kitties to come to town.
That’s right, my fellow US Americans. An RSBS World Series is on the horizon…
The long delay during game 3 of the NLCS left a void that simply could not be filled by the WNBA playoffs. And then when it became apparent that the Tigers would have to postpone their opportunity to bring this year’s edition of the Evil Empire to a close, I had to face reality. No baseball for the evening.
However, this left me a little time to follow up on my favorite instant meme from Tuesday night’s debate: Binders Full of Women.
It’s amazing how in less than a day we’ve gone from:
all the way to:
Rain may have halted baseball for one evening but it can’t stop the internet. Or Mitt Romney and his binders.
You know what was going through my mind yesterday? How terrifyingly awesome it must be to plummet towards earth at the speed of sound. You know what else was going through my mind? How glad I am that we have Carlos Beltran.
And I’m not just talking about a mild-mannered ball-bashing Carlos Beltran either. No, I’m talking about a mild-mannered ball-bashing and JADED Beltran. Despite what little Beltran has made of it to the press, I would guess there’s a certain undefinable stick-it-to-em-ness in Carlos’ bat this National League Championship Series, and whatever angst it might have been made of certainly stuck it to ’em last night.
I mean, I saw it too, how the Giants turned their noses up towards the possibility of keeping Beltran through free agency last winter. In fact, they didn’t even make dude an offer, opting to bank on the offense of Melky Cabrera instead of having the solid (and, I should add: CLEAN) Mr. Beltran anchoring the middle of their lineup.
Well, we all know how well that turned out, don’t we? Meanwhile, all Beltran did was play 151 games with 26 doubles, 32 homers and 97 RBI.
Still, here we are: Cardinals and Giants, NLCS, and only three wins away from defending our World Series crown.
Boy am I glad Beltran is on our team.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right (and biased).
Man, that sure turned into a dogfight. Seriously, just a few days ago it seemed like everything was decided and then, BAM, everything’s back up in the air again. The thing is, we could really be talking about a few different things right now. It could be Jayson Werth’s walk-off homer in DC to force a game 5. It could be the two different series going to decisive game 5’s in spite of teams jumping out to a 2 games to none lead in both. Or it could be the Vice Presidential debate where Joe Biden and Paul Ryan slugged it out like a couple of prizefighters.
In the end it really doesn’t matter which one you choose because no matter what, it was highly entertaining. Me, I love Joe Biden so it was great to watch him come out swinging. He didn’t win in a knockout but if you were scoring at home, it’s pretty safe to say he took the match on points. Which may not be so surprising since this is who he was going up against:
Uh, dude, 1990’s Will Smith wants his outfit back. The Fresh Prince of Hot Air, if you will.
But getting back to the entertainment aspect, the same goes for the playoffs. There was drama all over the place and if the next round is half as entertaining as the play-in games and the Division Series, we’re in for some good baseball. I love October, almost as much as Paul Ryan loves backwards hats.