Tagged: Rangers

Setting the Mahmud

RSBS Special Correspondent and Trombonist Extraordinaire, Mr. Johanna Mahmud reports:

“Hello little man, boy, I heard a lot about you.”

The news is in the for MLB, and well, there is no news.

But Paula Deen got hit in tha damn head with a ham!!!

Wish I  threw it.

But there is a ham fighter (and occasional nude male model) on the loose. The Rangers couldn’t keep C.J. Wilson but they sure ponied up to possibly sign Yu Darvish. After the Los Angels signed Alberta de la Pujols, Texas had to do something and they definitely went BIG.

I don’t speak Farsi or Japanesy-Chinesey like Jeffy, but I’ve been all over this kid for a couple years and am eager to see him pitch in the Bigs. I finally have a Middle Eastern brother to watch!

Decision making while tired has happened many times whilst signing Asian ballplayers has been bad, (see Fukudome, Kosuke or K, Dice) but I think this cat has it going on. He’s extremely consistent statistically, has a powerful arm and my manometer is blasting! I will make a pilgrimage to Arlington to see him, which means I’ll probably have a woman shooting at me eventually. Everybody’s packing down there!

Anyway, this was early Xmas for me, (even though the Prince isn’t a Cub yet) so I got my reindeer sweater and I’m blastin this bomb.

“Jesus, that’s wet.”

Have a great whatever you do!

–Johanna Mahmud
Follow Johanna on Twitter!

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 30: Pat Matheny’s Anesthesioxity and Other Stuff (LIKE HIGHLIGHTS!)

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

The RSBS crew celebrates its 30th episode by taking a stroll down podcast memory lane, remembering things that busted our (and hopefully your) guts.  AIDS salad and Ron Santo’s memory get rehashed while new memories (like gay ponies v. horsicorns, an iguana named Dudley and how you can cure your foot problems) are created!  Jump on board the RSBS crazy train!  No stops til you question how you spend your free time!

Don’t forget to getcho Crown Royal and enjoy some happy time!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter for all his movie magic updates and make sure to check out his crew and their hilariousness on the Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, November 26, 2011

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 29: Remembering Ugueth’s Urbina and Other Stuff

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

Jeff tries his darnedest to be as polite as possible during his unfettered gloating of World Championship status (Go Cards!) while Second City’s Mark Piebenga adds some level-headed awesomeness to Johanna’s outlandishness and Allen’s seasoned straight man routine.  Among the topics of discussion are “the greatest game ever”, the woes of rebranding an already twice championed franchise (talkin’ to you, Marlins), Theo Fever in the Chi, b!tch t!ts and much, much more!

Now grab some Crown Royal and enjoy yo’ self!

– – –

Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter and make sure to check out his crew and their gut busting Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, November 12, 2011

Setting the Mahmud

RSBS Special Correspondent and Muppet Aficionado, Mr. Johanna Mahmud reports:

Left-Hand Hate KO’d by Love.

I’ve been living in the house of ill repute. I got my diploma from the University of Strange. Somehow Jeff and Allen let me spew about any and all things on this fine site, which BLOWS MY MIND.

Writers who can’t read get a lot of work because they’re rare. Like tall jockeys. Or short NBA centers. I’m RARE. I grew up with gypsies and dancers. I still can’t read but I CAN dance. And hopefully, unlike the Vatican and Penn State, I’m on the right side of child molestation…

After a great and entertaining World Series it’s free agent time! For managers AND players!

The Cubs’ pursuit of Mike Maddux is on and I’m in. In my strange, odd baseball world, I think he’d be a fine choice. I don’t really believe hitting coaches do much, but pitching coaches do. He did some fine work with the Texas Power Rangers staff and got em back to back AL pennants. I never even heard of half their guys but they pitched their tails off. The older brother of legendary Cubs and Braves great Greg Maddux deserves a shot here. He doesn’t want the Red Sox job, doesn’t want to move his family halfway across the country. And after all the drama that has unfolded in Boston’s recent collapse, who can blame him?

With Theo on board, the Cubs are close to becoming respectable. I just hope the supporting brass knows enough to leave him alone so he can do his damn job without interruptions. There were many rumors that Jim Hendry had people in his ear about who to draft and what free agents to sign. THAT CAN’T HAPPEN AGAIN!!

I remember when I got fired from Applebee’s, because I refused to take Mr. Senor Love Daddy off my name tag. DON’T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB!

Hopefully this doesn’t happen to Theo. Even if he doesn’t pick Maddux, I’m sure he’ll Do the Right Thing.

–Johanna Mahmud
Follow Johanna on Twitter!

Squashed

As Game 6 of the Series drew to what appeared to be its close, I got very excited.  It wasn’t so much that I was cheering against my friend and his team but I had predicted the Rangers would win and I like to be right.  Beyond that, though, there was another thought.  The perfect post accompanied by the perfect video.  See, if the Cardinals had lost, I planned to post a video showing what had happened to Jeff’s hopes and dreams.  Instead, it now appears that this only applies to me:

Squashed indeed.

-A

LEGENDARY. EPIC. BUBBLY.

This.  Is.  Awesome.

2006 was special, but this… this is… LEGENDARY.  In fact, I think this is one of those cases where it really is necessary to describe the situation as EPIC.

And it’s epic, it’s legendary because, like a lot of good things that come to us in life, it was completely unexpected — increasingly unexpected — each step of the way.

From being 10.5 games out of a playoff spot on August 25th, to just squeezing their way in on the last day of the season, to beating one of the best baseball teams of the last decade, to nipping the rivaled favorite with a thumping in the Championship Series, to coming back from five deficits in a must-win Game 6 that included a game-tying bottom of the 9th RBI triple AND an extra-inning walk-off homerun BY THE SAME PLAYER.

To winning it all.

That gives me real, tangible hope for life. It reminds me that great things do happen when ya really work hard.

It says never give up.

And enjoy the ride.

I tip my cap to the Rangers.  They’re a fantastic team.  But right now I’m gonna sit back and enjoy this…*pops the BUBBLY*

Also, my first son’s name will be Freese.  Just so ya know.

Hate me ‘cuz I’m on the winning team, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.  (Talkin’ to you, Jonestein) 😉

Peace,

Jeffy

(Images via Michael Heiman/Getty Images)

THE Game 6

Last night’s game — from here and forever to be referred to solely as “THE Game 6” — caused defibrillator industry stock prices to rise at the same exponential rate as my own blood pressure, let alone reminding the masses that YOU DON’T QUIT.

YOU NEVER QUIT.

For those three or four people who shamed the universe by not watching that most unimaginable game, here’s a quick video recap:

FREAKS Trailer from Thierry Custine on Vimeo.

FREAKS!  CIRCUS FREAKS!  AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Invoking the ’06 Tigers defense?  Seeing Albert lose his cool with the low strike calling ump?  To come from behind FIVE times?!?!?

And David… wow… what about David Freese making himself a St. Louis LEGEND?!?

TWICE.

I hope I never wake up.

Happy Friday, Y’all!

Jeff

(Image via Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)