Tagged: Red Sox

Jack of All Trades and MASTER OF THEM ALL!!!

Boston just got a bazillion times cooler.  Seriously, I’m pumped to have Bobby V back in the game, just so I can post slobbery fanboy I’m-in-complete-awe-of-you-Bobby material.

For example, did you know that in addition to inventing “the wrap” and never mispronouncing Benny Agbayani’s name, Valentine is ALSO a 12th degree super-stealth NINJA!?!?

I love him.

Hate me for that.  Fine.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Valentine Masked by the Mayor

Stop it.  Stop looking at me like that.  If you want a Bobby Valentine/Red Sox dramaschlobfest post then go check out the worldwide leader in sports smut.

This is Red State Blue State.

And today we’re talking about THE MAYOR.

That’s right.  While Larry Lucchino was busy going behind Red Sox GM Ben Cherington’s back to hire a sexy manager (note: it only took them TWO FRIGGIN MONTHS TO DO THE DAMN THANG), the Cincinnati Reds announced that Sean Casey — The Mayor — would be enshrined in the Reds Hall of Fame.

Hot diggity dang!

Nevermind that Casey got in the Reds Hall of Fame by way of a fan vote.  Dude hit .305 lifetime for Cincinnati, not to mention the millions of smiles he instigated, just for being a big goofy loon armed with a sweet, sweeping lefty swing.  The Mayor is one of baseball’s good guys — the kind you wish you could trade for the likes of Milton Bradley, Kevin Brown and John Rocker — and it’s about time the good guy got some love, even if it is in Cincinnati, where sports have gone to die (just kidding, Andy Dalton).

If you watch the MLB Network, you know The Mayor’s comedic timing and all-around fun fella persona aren’t just the stuff of clubhouse lore.  He really is an unfettered goofball.  And his laugh is contagious, especially after 6 beers.

And if this Mayor induction leaves you feeling nothing else, at the very least you should feel good that the guy who brought you the only 5-7-3 ground-out in baseball history (vid here, tentatively, until the MLBAM nazis take it down) will be memorialized along with this guy:

Hate me, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 30: Pat Matheny’s Anesthesioxity and Other Stuff (LIKE HIGHLIGHTS!)

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And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

The RSBS crew celebrates its 30th episode by taking a stroll down podcast memory lane, remembering things that busted our (and hopefully your) guts.  AIDS salad and Ron Santo’s memory get rehashed while new memories (like gay ponies v. horsicorns, an iguana named Dudley and how you can cure your foot problems) are created!  Jump on board the RSBS crazy train!  No stops til you question how you spend your free time!

Don’t forget to getcho Crown Royal and enjoy some happy time!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter for all his movie magic updates and make sure to check out his crew and their hilariousness on the Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, November 26, 2011

Three Up, Three Down

Just like a Justin Verlander fastball, this is going to be quick, hard to see and will probably guilt you into crowning me with the MVP award:

The Drah-mah in Bahhhh-ston

Leave it to the Red Sox to be all dramatified in the offseason.  As if their 2010 free agent signing flop and subsequent September fail-to-the-finish that included video games, fried chicken and an “Adios, Tito!” (let’s leave the beer out of this, shall we?) wasn’t enough drama for one year, they had to go and add to the pile by involving Bobby Valentine in their managerial search.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love Bobby V and I really hope he gets the job ‘cuz he’s a bad@ss whose mere presence makes the league better (and more entertaining); but he also comes packin’ drama.  And the fact that the owners interviewed him before allowing new GM Ben Cherington to have his say suggests that the drama between ownership and the front office will continue to rival that of its on-the-field representation.

Pepper Spray: “It’s a Food Product, Essentially”

Fox News host Megyn Kelly should consider a move to the Food Network.  I think spraying Emeril Lagasse with a jumbo-sized canister of pepper spray would add some much needed tension to their programming.  And besides, pepper spray is “a food product, essentially”.

Bringing Back the Blue Jays

At a time when a Lil Wayne-impersonating white dude from Pittsburgh is tops on the music charts — in effect CRUSHING my hope for a revival of real, genuine rap music — I would like to personally thank the Toronto Blue Jays for coming back to earth, for finally being real.  When you have a classic look, there’s never a reason to change it.  The Yankees have managed this.  So have the Cardinals.  Sure they update to keep up with trends, but the core design never changes.  The Blue Jays had one of the classiest, cleanest, most memorable unis in all of baseball.

And then they changed it all for… black and gray?

It’s good to see them making good decisions again.

Happy Friday!

Jeff

Setting the Mahmud

RSBS Special Correspondent and Muppet Aficionado, Mr. Johanna Mahmud reports:

Left-Hand Hate KO’d by Love.

I’ve been living in the house of ill repute. I got my diploma from the University of Strange. Somehow Jeff and Allen let me spew about any and all things on this fine site, which BLOWS MY MIND.

Writers who can’t read get a lot of work because they’re rare. Like tall jockeys. Or short NBA centers. I’m RARE. I grew up with gypsies and dancers. I still can’t read but I CAN dance. And hopefully, unlike the Vatican and Penn State, I’m on the right side of child molestation…

After a great and entertaining World Series it’s free agent time! For managers AND players!

The Cubs’ pursuit of Mike Maddux is on and I’m in. In my strange, odd baseball world, I think he’d be a fine choice. I don’t really believe hitting coaches do much, but pitching coaches do. He did some fine work with the Texas Power Rangers staff and got em back to back AL pennants. I never even heard of half their guys but they pitched their tails off. The older brother of legendary Cubs and Braves great Greg Maddux deserves a shot here. He doesn’t want the Red Sox job, doesn’t want to move his family halfway across the country. And after all the drama that has unfolded in Boston’s recent collapse, who can blame him?

With Theo on board, the Cubs are close to becoming respectable. I just hope the supporting brass knows enough to leave him alone so he can do his damn job without interruptions. There were many rumors that Jim Hendry had people in his ear about who to draft and what free agents to sign. THAT CAN’T HAPPEN AGAIN!!

I remember when I got fired from Applebee’s, because I refused to take Mr. Senor Love Daddy off my name tag. DON’T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB!

Hopefully this doesn’t happen to Theo. Even if he doesn’t pick Maddux, I’m sure he’ll Do the Right Thing.

–Johanna Mahmud
Follow Johanna on Twitter!

A Non-Rhotic Entertainment Experiment

I’m not much of television watcher.  Outside of sporting events and the occasional Survivor Man episode, I just can’t get into something week after week.

I blame The Wire.  After blowing through all five seasons in just a few short weeks a couple years ago, everything else just seemed like Jersey Shore: a bunch of self-obsessed lame-ohs screaming and yelling while adding nothing positive to the universe.

And then there was this…


Hate me ‘cuz I helped put some nasty images in your head, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Happy Saturday!

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 28: A Pirate’s Private Prison and Other Stuff

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And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

For the first time EVER in RSBS Podcast history, Jeff, Allen and Johanna all meet IN THE SAME ROOM!  That’s right, no phone lines, no Skype, just a microphone and three unfettered opinions overlapping and slip-slapping without pause.  Among the topics of discussion are the Tigers, the Cardinals (it’s PLAYOFFS, duh!), an Ozzie Guillen-less Chicago, “blowing” it down the stretch, why you should see Catching Hell and much, much more!

Now getchyer beer and getcho happy on!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter and, if you like spontaneous awesomeness, check out his crew and their gut busting Undercast!

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Recorded Saturday, October 1, 2011