Tagged: Roger Clemens

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 14: Ryne Sandberg’s Phlight… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 8.jpg

 

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

…the fullest, rawest, most awe inspiring podcast yet, RSBS convenes as Jeff, Allen, Johanna and special guest Mark Piebenga from Second City all come together for one rip-roarin’ time!  Among the topics of conversation (sponsored by Lifestyles and encouraged by Miller Lite) are strains to one’s right glute, burning one’s hand on the hot stove, hiding one’s pain with the NBA… and much, much more! 

All to make you smiley face!

Holla!

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For more on Mark’s work on RSBSNinemen’s Morris series, check out this story then click on the Ninemen’s Morris tag at the bottom for more early 20th century hilarity!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  You can check out Keith’s wicked podcast and his subsequent film projects at  Undercard Films.  The dude has mad skillz, so you might wanna pay attention.  Do it!  Now!

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Recorded Wednesday, November 17, 2010

 

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 13: Nolan Ryan’s Taintedness… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 3.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff and Johanna welcome a very special guest, Second City funny man Mark “Pie” Piebenga, to the Logan Square Studio for an RSBS Podcast pow-wow of epic proportions (we would like to thank Miller Lite for making it, as the kids say, ‘epic’)!  From Jim Joyce’s ‘stache to Nolan Ryan’s pomposity to Nyjer Morgan’s right hook to Bobby Scales’… existence?… all the gloves come off as the fellas look back at the 2010 season and gear up for the winter with plenty of chuckles and plenty of beer.  All to make you laughy laugh!

Holla!

– – –

For more on Mark’s work on RSBSNinemen’s Morris series, check out this story then click on the Ninemen’s Morris tag at the bottom for more early 20th century hilarity!

– – –

Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  Keith is involved in some impressive projects himself.  Check out his work at  Undercard Films.  Seriously.  You should do it.  If you don’t, you might find out about his MMA skills first hand.  Holla!!!

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Recorded Wednesday, November 10, 2010

 

The Non-Baseball Fan Guide to the Playoffs

Jeff and Allen have been very busy all season long and with the playoffs in full swing, they thought it might be nice to bring in some relief writers.  Today their friend from college, Jordan, gives us his take on the playoffs.
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Kent_Hrbek_Finest.jpg

Man, it really is great to see Tommy Lee out there thrilling the crowd again.  And this time instead of sticking it to Pam Anderson, he’s sticking it to the Yankees, picking up right where he left off last year.  I’m happy for the guy, though.  It’s a real achievement and hopefully it makes up for taking all that crap from Nikki Sixx for all those years.  And playing for the Mariners.  Now that’s a motley crew, right?  Right?

Meanwhile Henry Rollins found an ideal moment to get back into form.  Sure, he’s had a rough season and the last couple years weren’t the same with the injuries and all.  But hey, what do you expect when you go from fronting Black Flag to playing shortstop for the Phillies?

But the Phillies also made the bold move of picking up Matt Holliday and turning him into a pitcher.  It’s like the anti-Rick Ankiel.  Considering that first round no-hitter he threw, it appears the Phillies get the last laugh.  In all honesty, I didn’t see it coming either.

And of course the Yankees are loaded from top to bottom.  Is Roger Clemens still playing?  No?  Uh, ok.  Well, at least they still have Kung Fu Panda, Chien Ming Wang.  I think that’s his nickname.  He is Chinese after all.  Or is he Korean?  I always get them mixed up.

Anyway, the point is, I love the baseball playoffs and they’re even more exciting than usual this year with all these familiar names and faces in new places.  I’m still a little bummed that my Twins didn’t do better but really, they just haven’t been the same since Kirby Puckett and Kent Hrbek left.

-Jordan

The Filibuster

Two of your favorite guys have been in the news a lot lately. Glenn Beck
and Roger Clemens. If you had to be either one for a day who you would
you choose?

Greg
Livonia, MI

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glenn-beck-fox-news.jpgWow.  How do I even begin?  I mean, both men are absolute paragons of masculinity.  One man liked to stick needles in his butt on a regular basis and the other cries when he sees a bald eagle.  But if I had to choose between the two and spending a day in their skin, I’d have to choose Clemens.

Here’s the problem.  When you spend a day as someone, you have to be able to extricate yourself from that person in the end.  Clemens doesn’t strike me as the type who has a whole lot going on upstairs.  Being in his head is like walking down one long, empty corridor.  There are doors here and there and maybe I’d get lucky enough to open the one where he throws the bat at Piazza and figure out what was really going on in that moment.

On the other hand you have Glenn Beck.  Have you tried watching the guy’s show?  He starts on one thought, flies off on some tangent, leaps off the tangent to attempt an allusion and winds up throwing logic aside for the beautiful simplicity of ad hominem attack.  Why doesn’t he like Obama’s health care plan?  Well, because the Nazis had a health care plan. 

The twists and turns inside that mind are baffling from the outside and could only be more confusing when you’re right in the middle of it.  If you go in there, your chances of making it out alive or at least sane are about as good as the odds that Newt Gingrich won’t cheat on this wife.  Or that Bill Clinton has been faithful.  Yeah, that bad.

So, give me Clemens.  He may not be the nicest guy.  He may not be the smartest guy.  But at least I can kind of figure out what he’s thinking.  There’s a simple beauty in that.

-A

“But I Don’t Wanna Be a LOLstro… Waa Waa Waa”

roy oswalt houston.jpgYeah, Roy, I don’t blame ya.  You get no run support.  Your team owner has laughable baseball sense.  Ed Wade is but a slave to the errant desires of said laughable baseball sense.  Yeah.  I wouldn’t wanna be a LOLstro either.  But if I were in your position, you sure wouldn’t hear me cryin’ about it.

Believe that.

Unlike Roy Halladay’s situation of a year ago, when he quietly went to his GM requesting a trade — a request that the Blue Jays inherently blew out of proportion and blabbed to the media thus causing a tailspin of rumors that hurt everyone involved — Roy Oswalt’s recent proclamation via his agent to the press is more than just a bit off-putting.

Look, I know I have the reputation of bein’ old school.  I don’t like interleague.  I don’t like the DH.  I don’t like players wearing the long pants.  And in this case, I don’t like prima donna pitchers placing themselves above all others (even if performance warrants some discretionary leeway).

On the sandlots of Quincy, IL, if you took your ball and went home, we didn’t give a sh!t.  We just got a new ball.  We didn’t have time for whining, complaining, crying.  And if you tried to come back and cause problems, you might go home with a few less teeth… and no ball.

Do you think Bob Gibson would ever cry to the media about being on a losing team?  Koufax?  Seaver?  Hell, even recent phenoms like Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, Pedro Martinez.  Those men were men.  Okay.  Your team isn’t playing well.  It happens.  Deal with it.  You’re making millions of dollars playing the greatest game in the land, you’re the envy of every 30-something sitting behind a desk (me), and all you want to do is complain about it?

I understand that it sucks playing for a losing team… that being in an organization as backwards as the Astros have been the last few years must take a damaging toll on one’s psyche… but to b^tch and complain about it to the press rather than take it behind closed doors like a respectable ballplayer… that just rubs me the wrong way…. it even causes me to be lazy and use tired cliches (see this run-on sentence).

Take your ball and go home, Roy. 

Unless you want to sign with the Cardinals, then, by all means, come on over, grab a jersey and let’s go.  I’ll even give ya a hug!

Hate me ‘cuz I’m old-school, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

P.S. Rumor has it the Cubs have an eye on Oswalt… to bring him in and make him a set-up man.

The Usual Suspects

What do you get when you cross an evil, faceless corporation with the soulless smile of a clown? 

clemens_ny.jpgOk, yes, that is a valid answer.  But what I was really looking for is this:

It may be cute.  It may be funny.  But to paraphrase close personal friend of RSBS, Keyser Söze, “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he was a funny clown commercial.”

-A

Are You of Interest?

clemens_testify.jpgIs it good or bad at this point to be a citizen of or coming from a “country of interest?” If you look at the upside, you get to enjoy the feeling that comes with the friskiness of a full body pat-down. On the downside, well, you get the feeling that comes with the friskiness of a full body pat-down.

If you tend to think that this smacks of profiling, congratulations, you are now able to recognize the obvious! Of course this is profiling. There’s a reason why fourteen countries are on the list and there’s a reason why it’s a specific 14 countries. It’s the same reason why any PED testing scheme should focus on people who suddenly change shape (I’m looking at you, Giambi), people who are performing at very high levels after sickness or late in their career (this means you, Armstrong and Clemens) or people who’s production suddenly and inexplicably increases (yeah, Sosa, you’re on the hook for this one). If you’re looking for fire, it’s not a bad idea to try checking out the smoke.

Now, I’m not saying that I agree with the idea of profiling. Basing any kind of scrutiny or regime on just someone’s ethnicity or some other factor is not going to stop anything in the long-run. Timothy McVeigh wouldn’t have been caught by this nor would the Unabomber. There’s no real substitute for random testing, good intelligence and rigorous processes. Short-term, though? Something has to be done.

The real issue is that when problems are identified, whether it be security lapses or inadequacies in testing, knee-jerk responses tend to be the flavor of the day. The reality is that we need to find the balance between being authoritarian and being lackadaisical. Would a pat down have necessarily stopped the alleged Northwest flight bomber? Who knows but I’m guessing probably not. Would a fully implemented randomized testing program have kept Barry Bonds from the home run record? It’s hard to say. But it’s a place to start.

-A