Andy Williams had it all wrong. I’m sorry, but I’ll take September’s non-stop MLB pennant chasing + NFL + Notre Dame losing to Michigan combination over cold and snow and fake Santas any day. In fact, since it’s an election year, we get even more drama to go with our Irish-trouncing, and if you wait until the end of this post, you’ll even see that the Republicans have JOKES!
But first thing’s first: TUNE IN TO BASEBALL. My lord, between the AL Central showdown, the A’s/Angels wild card battle and the AL East title three-way, I can’t imagine a more exciting scenario (except maybe a non-baseball related three-way, but that’s for a different blog). Consider the NL wild card race and the fact that one of the three AL East teams could also nab the last AL West wild card spot and now allow your mind to be blown (again, maybe better for another blog).
And I haven’t even mentioned the myriad story lines decorating the start to the NFL and college football seasons!
The fact is, for dudes like Mr. Krause and I, it really doesn’t get much better than this. Unless you want to throw in some flaccid punchline deliveries (ZING!)…
Hate me ‘cuz you can, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
While the east coast continues to dig out from the 20 inches of snow that fell over the weekend, Congress is doing its part by expelling as much hot air as possible to aid in the recovery. This isn’t exactly something new for our esteemed parliamentarians but debates like this ongoing health care discussion seem to bring out even more bloviation than usual.
The worst part is that we all know it’s just a dog and pony show since the bill is going to pass once Joe Lieberman finishes lobotomizing it. And when it’s all said and done, it will be up to President Obama to gloss over the facts and say that this lump of coal given him by a Congress all dressed up in a Santa suit is exactly what he had on his Christmas list.
If it was me sitting on this pseudo-Santa’s lap, I’d turn and punch him right in the face. This isn’t Kris Kringle in Miracle on 34th Street replacing a drunk Santa Claus and making a little girl believe in Christmas. This is Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa getting drunk, pissing himself and all but sodomizing little children. Come to think of it, that’s not too far off the mark when it comes to describing Congress anyway.
So, how about it ladies and gents of the Congress? This could be our Christmas miracle. America wants it, you can make it happen and more than that, wouldn’t it be nice to give your constituents some sort of assurance that if they get sick, they will be taken care of? Too bad that instead you seem hell-bent on making the same kind of joke out of health care that Nancy Reagan made out of drugs.
As long as teams like the Chicago White Sox continue to beat the odds, the Bee Gees will find comfort in knowing Stayin’ Alive will still get its fair share of plays. Sunday’s win over the rambunctious Tampa Bay Rays served as yet another excuse to hear that awful song, but I admit, I wouldn’t mind hearing it a few more times given the circumstances.
Indeed, the guts and guile of the Southsiders’ grinderball game showed up — finally — after a pair of sleeper matches in South Florida. And believe me. We were watching.
And we were watching very closely. With a keen eye focussing on the intricacies of this hard fought battle, we at RSBS noticed that the Sox may have gotten a little help from a certain obese, ruddy someone who normally only works one day a year.
Yes. You guessed it. Santa Claus is a Sox fan.
He was sitting behind home plate on the first base side. Every time a lefthander came up to hit, visions of sugarplums danced in my head. As a man who often thinks like an 8-year-old-child, I couldn’t help but snap this picture:
Go ahead, call me superstitious, call me crazy, call me Suzie… if ya believe, ya believe… and there ain’t no use in trying to change my mind.
We can only hope that jolly old St. Nick will stop by the Cell again on Monday… and while he’s at it, perhaps he could light a fire under the Obama campaign’s proverbial ^ss and get them to fight back against the lunacy of the GOP. I know the DNC party line is to lose big, important, poignant elections like the Cubs lose playoff games… but haven’t we US Americans already lost enough?**
I know it’s only October, but I’m putting out cookies and milk tonight… just in case.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
**If you happen to be a Cub fan (sorry?) then you know more about this sincere feeling of loss than anyone else on the planet. Don’t worry. I’ll have my opinion on the matter posted soon. I’m just taking a day or two to let it all sink in. That’s all I’ll need. Unfortunately for you, it’s been 100 years and it’s still sinking in — nice and slow.