Technically the Cold War ended in 1991 when the Soviet Union finally fell apart. However, the war has stayed pretty chilly down in the Caribbean where the US and Cuba continue to party like it’s 1969. As a reminder of how chilly things remain, just take a look at the recent blizzard that blew through Miami when Ozzie Guillen made the mistake of declaring his love for Fidel Castro. But then a funny thing happened. Sure, Ozzie got a five-game suspension, and yeah, plenty of people got pissed off, but no one tried to kill him and people are still going to Marlins’ games. The times, they are a-changin‘.
On the other side of the world, things are changing as well. Previously the province of rappers, drunk investment bankers and Joba Chamberlain, “making it rain” has been taken to entirely new levels on the Arabian peninsula:[youtube http://youtu.be/LD0ncYoVp_c]
Frosty in Florida, rainy in the desert? Looks like climate change is more widespread than we originally thought.
I only lived in Chicago for a couple years but I can vouch for the fact that it’s a divided city. Each little section corresponds to a certain ethnicity and the gaps in between are pretty much filled with yuppies. But more importantly, there’s the huge divide separating the North and South sides of the city, a divide best exemplified by the Cubs up north and the White Sox down south.
Although we know all about the rivalry and mutual dislike between the two groups of fans, not to mention their socio-economic disparities, sometimes that difference can only be truly explained in pictures. Moving pictures, to be more exact. And no, I don’t mean Ozzie and Lou. I’m talking Ron Swanson:[youtube http://youtu.be/mtxo4BnYzro]
That, my friends, is a rivalry. Powered by tradition.
Dr. James Andrews and his ground-breaking Tommy John surgical procedure has given many years of service back to Big Leaguers who may have otherwise been forced to retire. It has also provided many extra years of thrills for fans. Without the surgery, we don’t have Strasburg. We don’t have Adam Wainwright. We don’t have A LOT of big time stars.
But, not everyone recovers as planned.
Enter, Joey Devine.
Despite the surname, his career path has been anything but. After a promising 2008 season where he went 6-1 in 42 appearances with a STUNNING .59 ERA, dude got kissed by the angel of shoulder death and was forced to have the highly effective surgery. Unlike most people though, two years later, he still hadn’t recovered properly; and now, in 2012, it appears Mr. Devine has to have Tommy John surgery AGAIN.
If Devine ever makes it back to the Bigs, you bet I’m gonna stand and applaud his every appearance. For the fortitude it must take to stay focused, to battle back against such adversity, would surely require we all do so.
Unfortunately, the current situation doesn’t look good. So I’m gonna pour out some liquor for his career.
Hang in there, Joey Devine. If it makes you feel any better, I know a Cantonese stripper named Joy Yee Divine. So every time I hear your name I chuckle. To myself, of course.
Hate me ‘cuz I make it rain sometimes, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
In all the hubbub of Opening Day last week, we forgot one very important thing. Before you can yell “Play ball,” you have to sing the anthem. Here to right that wrong is Frank Drebin:[youtube http://youtu.be/poIRktlowCM]
Ok, now it’s official. Play ball!!!
In response to the twin shocks of the Great Depression and World War II, the allied powers decided to cooperate on a system that would hopefully prevent another catastrophic financial collapse. The plan they came up with, the Bretton Woods system, created two of the most powerful financial institutions in the world today, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and the World Bank.
By convention, the IMF is headed by a European and the World Bank by an American. And since voting is by quota, not by a one vote per person system, it’s relatively easy for this practice to continue. That doesn’t mean the unwritten policy is always appreciated, though. For instance, the World Bank is in the process of electing a new president who is not the top choice of the African continent and most of the developing world, the constituencies most served by the Bank. If you’re curious as to who this person might be, wait until about the two minute point in this video and you’ll see him:[youtube http://youtu.be/4lHKJEp5e-8]
Yes, he’s the former President of Dartmouth. Yes, he’s a founder of Partner’s in Health which has ostensibly helped many poor people in Haiti access health care. However, Mr. Jim Yong Kim is not a good dancer. He also has no background in economics despite that being somewhat germane to the subject matter. Actually, let’s really simplify this. Bud Selig is more qualified to be MLB Commissioner than Kim is to be World Bank president. Man, that statement even scares me.
Robots do pretty much everything these days. They build cars, they do the vacuuming. Some of the more nefarious ones get sent back from the future to kill unsuspecting young men while others freakishly decapitate fiancees leading to epic quotes like, “That’s not your arm. That’s my bitch’s arm.”
Ok, so maybe the last two aren’t real but robots have advanced by leaps and bounds. In fact, there’s a good chance that someday soon one of those leaps or bounds could be by a robot chasing you down in the streets. Don’t believe me? Check this out. If that doesn’t scare you, how about this little factoid? Your grandkids are going to have sex with robots.
One thing you don’t have to worry about, though, is robots taking over baseball.
Yep, we’re safe for now.
If you follow this blog, you know that I am not a fan of pink baseball caps. I pretty much feel the same way about them that Rick Santorum feels about anything that smacks of fun: it’s a sin. I can get behind pink bats for breast cancer awareness and maybe even pink bases for one day. But people who show up to baseball games wearing pink hats? Nope. That just isn’t appropriate.
I’m not sure what it is about pink hats that annoys me so much. Almost every club has alternate caps that they wear from time to time to switch things up. However, the alternates tend to reflect the official colors of the team. In reality, alternate caps and jerseys are just a way for teams to generate revenue and that’s a brand of capitalism I can get behind. With the pink hats, though, I honestly don’t see how they can be making enough money to make it worthwhile. I’m sorry but a pink Detroit Tigers’ hat is just wrong. Despite my feelings toward the New York Yankees, I still don’t feel right seeing one of their caps in pink either.
But as much as I dislike the unholy spectre of pink baseball hats, it pales in comparison to my feelings for the no-talent asshattery of Brittany Smooch:[youtube http://youtu.be/_n-Qa99CnsY]
Seriously, if I was forced to choose between watching either this video or Two Girls, One Cup on a loop for 24 hours, there’s a good chance I’d ask for rat poison instead.